Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Happy 60th Birthday to My Dear Hubby!

Happy 60th birthday to my husband! Even though age is just a number and he’s very healthy, healthier than me despite my being fitter, there's a sense of sadness that comes with the 34-year-old man I met in 1993 entering his 60s.

Tried to create another Twitter account just to document my health, but it wouldn't let me. I tried in two different browsers with two different email addresses.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Bipolar Hormones & Rainbow Lamps

Felt better yesterday, and so far so good today. The anxiety started to bubble up and my stomach went on the fritz, which may have been due to the fruit I ate yesterday, but after a few pieces of tryptophan-laden Turkey and a few swallows of wine, followed by a 10-minute walk, I felt better. I even managed to kick the same pinecone all the way down the street, LOL.

 Not really sure the alcohol helps, though, so I probably won’t get it again. I only drank in Hawaii because the drinks were free. Otherwise, I’ve never found pleasure in drinking like many people do.

 Hopefully my “bipolar” hormones will give me a break for a while. On top of perimenopause and a medication that’s not at all anxiety-friendly (though I skipped today), I’ve definitely got my PMS on.

 I’ll totally slap the crap out of the next person that calls someone a “wimp” or “coward” for committing suicide. I may not feel like ending it all at the moment, but I can totally see how some people do this simply to end their pain. Is it really cowardly to want to end your suffering be it physically or emotionally? Especially when it’s more than obvious that no matter how many times you see the doctor, they’re not going to do you much good, and your options are limited due to side effects and other things. I’d love to take BC, for example, but can’t cuz of my fucking cholesterol. It’s seems, however, that people are always quick to judge unless they know firsthand what it’s like. The way Andy said he didn’t feel bad for Robin Williams for “choosing” to throw it all away when he had it all was both shocking and sad. I was surprised that he of all people would be that ignorant and stupid. Common sense should tell a person that no one kills themselves because they’re tired of having it all. He had Parkinson’s disease, and that and his medication made him depressed. If we were still friends he would defend himself by saying that was simply his opinion. Yeah, but there’s a difference between having an opinion and being incorrect. To say I look good or bad with long hair is an opinion. To say I’m tall is an incorrect statement.

I’m just going through a natural part of life and I have to wait it out, hope it ends soon enough, and that nothing else “broke” in my brain a few years ago. I’ve had so many tests done, though. It’s GOT to be the peri, and again, certain meds can fuel the effects.

 Right now I’m not feeling much of anything. I’m not anxious, calm or depressed. As I told Tammy, I still get a lot more anxious than depressed. If I get depressed it’s usually only because I got anxious.

 I know it’s important to stay positive but the longer this goes on the harder it is to tell myself that everything is going to be okay and that my hormones will eventually stabilize. Until I’ve gone half a year without anxiety, I don’t want to get my hopes up too high.

 I wonder if it’s worth picking up a bottle of that Evening Primrose Stacey said she takes. It’s just that with my shit luck I’d have side effects. I also don’t want to do anything that could risk throwing my sleep off again. It’s actually been way better lately. Not sure why it’s been better, but I’d like it to stay that way. I don’t even have hot flashes as much as I used to. Right now it’s just the “stabbers” that are my problem where I’ll feel random stabs of anxiety come and go in waves in the center of my chest. Occasionally this will morph into depression depending on how long it went on. I admit that sometimes I let it get bad because I hesitate to run for the lorazepam every time I start feeling a little off as I don’t want to get dependent on it. It doesn’t work as well as it used to, anyway.

 I may not be very strong emotionally, but damn am I strong physically. For a minute I worried that my steroid treatments we’re giving me “fake” muscle just like levothyroxine can give me “fake” fear, but Tom doesn’t think I’m absorbing nearly enough for it to do that, and my last treatment is in a few days. I would have thought that after all this time Bowflexing that I’m pretty much as strong as I’m going to get, but nope. Gotta up my weights on some exercises.

 Early in the morning I ordered a really neat desk lamp that I got a few hours ago. The top part has three levels of lighting, and the color of the base can be adjusted.

 Thursday I’ve got Brown Sugar Crumble Donut K-cups coming. I only let myself have one cup of caffeinated coffee a day. I make a point of avoiding things that are bad for anxiety… caffeine, sugar, canned soup, whole wheat bread, etc. Foods good for anxiety are turkey, spinach, blueberries, milk, almonds, avocados, asparagus and other things.

 Started watching The Fall and it’s pretty good so far. It’s filmed in Belfast and one of the things I like about European movies and shows as opposed to the American ones is that they don’t have so much music blasting in the background. This makes it harder to hear the people talking. Besides, we’re supposed to be watching TV, not listening to music.

Got a basic plot figured for my CampNaNo project, so I have that to look forward to in a few days. I was going to set my word count at 10K, but I can do that easily. Maybe I’ll bump it up to 25K. We writers can easily tap out 1000-5000 words a day.

 Oh fuck. Not again with the firecrackers 8 days in advance! Why can’t Independence Day be in the winter when it’s too cold to be out doing this shit? I swear people will do anything to get attention and make a show if themselves.

 In my dreams last night Tammy went to Japan, I got it on with my old doctor, and a young Justin Bieber was annoying the shit out of me on a bus with a bright flashlight he was shining in my eyes.

Sunday, June 25, 2017


Always open to possible home jobs, I wonder why there isn’t more jobs helping the police catch online child pervies or something like that. But I guess certain things border too close to entrapment, and well, I’m not keen on the idea of helping or supporting the police anyway. Not with the way so many of them use an abuse the law. In many ways they can be just as shady as drug dealers.

Anyway, I really wish I would hear from some of my Facebook friends a little more often. Other sites I don't care, but on Facebook I don't like people sitting on my friend list that I don't interact with. Or that don't interact with me. I don't expect people to "like" or comment on everything I post, which isn't much to begin with, but it would be nice to hear from them once a month instead of me always "liking" or commenting on their stuff. Why add someone if you're not going to interact with them at least every now and then?

I try to keep my friend count as low as possible and limited to just those who want to be a regular part of my life so it's easier to customize posts by not having as many names to go through. Every so often I do a little housekeeping and weed out the "deadbeats." It's just that if they happen to notice they've been deleted, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if they really wanted to remain connected for some reason. It's just that if I don't hear from them, what am I supposed to think? LOL, common complaint by Facebook users. If it weren't for a few special people I wouldn't even bother with the site, and I don't even follow these people to be honest. I mostly use the site for messaging and group photos. Not my own group, which is still archived, but photos posted by other groups.

Anyway, I'm going to take a little more time to decide who should stay and who should go.

Although I’m feeling a little better today, I’m still spending more time than I’d like struggling to get my emotions to match my life. I totally get it now. All those people that seemed to have it all that would act so miserable, and that I was quick to write off as spoiled, ungrateful little drama queens/kings which simply couldn’t be satisfied. But now I know that sometimes our hormones simply don’t give a shit what’s going on in our lives. I may have a bit of a stagnant life at times, but I otherwise have a very good life many may envy. Yet I have felt nearly every negative emotion known to humankind for most of the month of June. So much for being my favorite month of the year. Never would I have thought that my own mind and body could turn on me like this and drive me absolutely batshit crazy. What’s a little scary is that now I’m getting depressed more often on top of anxious. I’m PMSing now too, but it remains to be seen if I get a period to go with this PMS. I’m sure I will, I just wasn’t counting on that until August.

Our top two guesses for what I’m going through is still a combination of my medication and perimenopause, though we cleansed the house with sage early in the morning just in case. Still don’t know if I believe in spirits or demons, but maybe negative energy that’s accumulated over time has a part in things. The people that had to leave this place before didn’t leave because they wanted to, but because they got old. That right there could leave behind some negative energy, even if it might have taken a year for it to catch up to me. So while I still say God is just a coping method people created to help them get through life (along with a weapon to threaten and control others), and spirits of loved ones is just their way of being unable to let go, I admit that without scientific proof or any first-hand experience with these things, I can’t rule out any possibility. I’m willing to try almost anything once.

Ironically the sage, which smelled horrible, went out right as he was entering the master bedroom. That's where it all started. Had my first attack in there early on the morning of July 9th.

I read an article on the telltale signs of if you’ve got spirits, demons or negative energy in your home, and I must admit that some of them struck an uncanny sense of familiarity. Like the times I’ve woken up feeling almost like I couldn’t get enough air yet my lungs didn’t feel congested or blocked in any way. Nor do I have sleep apnea.

Then there are certain sounds I’ve heard around the house, thinking Tom is getting up or walking up behind me that I wrote off to the house simply settling. I know no one actually died in the house, but I suppose negative energy is still possible.

Speaking of negative, I’ve been trying to get out of the habit of telling myself things like, “You’ll never handle this,” “You could never make it through that,” “You’re not strong enough to do this,” etc. I realized that the more I tell myself these things, the more I’m likely to believe them, thus making them true. The only positive thing I feel I can say right now, though, is that I’ve been sleeping better. I’m just trying to keep busy and not spend as much time alone. The latter is a little easier said than done, however, when you don’t drive and you have CRD.

I’m also afraid to trust people because I have been burned so many times in life. I’ve reached out to people who have actually welcomed and encouraged me to do so, only to later be accused of simply “wanting attention,” so that’s part of why I tend to keep anything negative to myself. I figure why depress or worry others along with me? Besides, it’s no one else’s business. Either way, so many people can start off seeming so wonderful, so real, so honest, so compassionate, so loyal… and then one day they’re gone. Sometimes they’ll tell you why they’re abandoning you, and sometimes they’ll just silently slip away without explanation. Sometimes a part of me deserved it as I can’t always be perfect myself, but other times I have been nothing but good and supportive and honest to certain people just to find that it didn’t mean shit in the end, and to end up cast aside like yesterday’s trash.

I drank for the first time in 3.5 years last night, but it didn’t do me any good. It was just a strawberry daiquiri wine cooler. So much for drinking my anxiety away like I’ve heard some people do. But then their anxiety may be generalized anxiety or social anxiety while mine is physiological. Perhaps it’s for the better that it didn’t help. No point in trading in one problem for another.

Tom believes that of all the different things we’re doing to help me feel better that the cleansing will help, and my body will settle into the new medication dose in about a week. As for the cleansing ritual, he was pointing out that if something is widely used it’s usually for a reason. So I guess time will tell if it helps or if they’re all just crazy and delusional. :)

Decided to give the clonidine another try so we picked up a refill. Don’t know that I’ll ever really use it, but it’s here if I change my mind.

We signed up for a 30-day trial of Office 365 Home. The only thing I don’t like about it so far is that I have to re-record my macros that automatically insert dates and times, and it wants to put a space between the first character of each paragraph. It has a mail program that Tom likes, and a lot more cloud storage than Amazon.

He put oil in the car, air in the tires, and trimmed some trees.

We went on a quick walk late last night and checked out the notice in the door of the house diagonally in back. It was abandoned as we figured it was, probably by someone who didn’t have kids to take care of cleaning the house out and putting it on the market. There was still some stuff inside the house. Anyway, that was their second of third notices. Their space rent is lower than ours but then the woman was there a lot longer than we’ve been here. Yeah, 4 years here and 3 years as a madwoman whose life as she’d mostly known it to be seems forever lost.

I had a couple of dreams in which I was living in a rural setting. Jesse lived a few hundred feet away. In the distance I could see men, some white and some black, milling about his place in tuxes.

A split second later an attractive black woman was in our house. Tom wasn’t home at the time. The woman told me she and Jesse just got married, and that someone had complained on their dogs. I worried they would think it was us when it wasn’t.

But then the black woman became a Latina woman with friends and family scattered about the house. Most of them were in their 20s and I didn’t know a soul. Latino Music was playing that they probably didn’t know I could understand, and I was worried they would steal things.

Then I was cleaning a guinea pig’s glass aquarium, and then we lived in another place that had a long straight black driveway flanked by recently mowed lawns. Two old cars were parked to one side where we were keeping a couple of rabbits. I went to refill their water bottle which was outside the cars, making me wonder how they could drink it. Then I was worried I’d been neglecting them by underfeeding them and not giving them enough attention, so I ran into the house to fetch some carrots.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Sick & Twisted

As far as the legalized discrimination that has been allowed in four different states simply because they believe that they’re fictitious God sees gays as evil sinners, I realize yet again what a truly sick and twisted world we live in. So let me get this straight (pardon the pun), it’s perfectly okay to discriminate against those who only seek equality, but we’re supposed to be totally okay with those who have proven time and time again to be a danger to society with their bombs, machetes, their “honor” deaths, and even their vehicles?

So what if many black people are playing the race card and ruining lives more and more these days and resorting to rioting when they don’t get their way. And so what if so many Mexicans want to invade our country illegally, bring their guns and drugs with them, then jump on welfare and burden our resources.

No matter what you do, as long as you’re not attracted to the same sex then you’re all fucking wonderful. Right?

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Not That Friendly

Went swimming in the 110° heat. The people here may not be mean but they sure aren’t usually very friendly either. I guess it’s a Cali thing, as Tom says. I said hello to a woman I’d seen at the pool before and she barely acknowledged me. I also wouldn’t want someone talking my ear off nonstop either, but big cities sure don’t compare to small towns. Everyone was so friendly up in Klamath Falls. Tom and I miss many aspects of the town; just not the arctic climate.

Been feeling and sleeping okay. Sometimes the anxiety is lurking below the surface and I worry that it’s going to come to a head, but it hasn’t. I don’t expect the weekly skips to make me perfect anyway since that wasn’t the only thing causing my anxiety. It’s just that I can’t “skip” perimenopause once a week as well. Sure wish I could, though!

Not sure if I’m going to CampNano in July. I have a couple ideas but nothing too exciting.

I had a dream I was on some kind of train, but instead of the usual rows of seats there were these lounges in which the backs were up against the sides of the train. That was where you would sit, eat and sleep until you got to your destination.

Then I was in Germany hugging someone goodbye. Next, I was approached by what might have been a cyber friend of mine living in Austria. I opened my mouth to speak, but all of a sudden I couldn’t remember a word in German. She then surprised me by speaking English, saying she had been taking classes.

All is Good

My appointment with Dr. A went well. She understands that she can’t make me take the medication as recommended, and that if I believe it’s the cause of some of my anxiety, as I do, then I gotta do what I gotta do to feel better. Besides, it’s not like I’m putting myself in danger. As I told her, if I’d gotten to the lab just one week earlier, I’d have given her good numbers. I skipped on the 9th, 13th and 19th, then again on Monday. From now on I will be skipping on Mondays BEFORE the anxiety has a chance to ramp up due to accumulation, and if that doesn’t alleviate the anxiety as Tom and I think it will, then we’ll reevaluate and try something else. It’s probably a combination of the ADD, high HR and perimenopause that makes me so sensitive to levothyroxine, but as we discussed, maybe I can take it regularly after the perimenopause is at least eliminated from the equation. But even though I felt relatively calm, my HR was clocked at 100. BP was pretty good, though. Weight’s the same. I can eat all I want as long as I keep active and don’t eat for pleasure. Only when I’m hungry.

I can pull my TSH back down a little more without becoming anxious, though. That’s no problem, as I also told her. It doesn’t need to be as high as 16 to feel better. I just didn’t know it would jump that fast from just a few skips – oops. But I can get it down to about an 8. Anything lower and the anxiety bites. It is the most god-awful thing I ever experienced. No life situation or other medication has ever made me feel that bad. I’m probably already back down to 12, now that I’m getting a better idea how the doses and numbers work. My endo said it’s best to keep it under 10. I’ll get there.

Even though I figured it was no big deal that my red and white blood cell count numbers are slightly elevated, a small part of me was like, oh no, please don’t tell me I have a whole new medical problem on my hands. But she’s not worried about it. She’s just going to keep a watch on that as well as my thyroid. Again, I’m not surprised. My dreams would have warned me if there was trouble ahead.

I’m still amazed that my lipid panel was actually better. She said it’s improved but still not at their goal, and that if I ever want to try medication, let her know. LOL, no chance, lady. No one who’s ever been medically traumatized is ever going to wake up one day wanting more medication.

It’s now been about one year since I was EMDR’d. I haven’t had any panic attacks since, though I sure have come close a few times.

So back to the lab in September and December but I don’t need to see her until December. In fact, I’ll be seeing her on my 52nd birthday at 8 AM. Tom’s going to take that day off and then we’ll make a day of it doing whatever after what I hope is a quick visit.

I showed her the mild rash I have under my arms and she recommended hydrocortisone twice a day. I wasn’t sure what to treated with so it’s nice to know that now. Most of the time I don’t notice it, though. It’s pretty mild.

Things are otherwise continuing to go well. I was counting a lot of cash in my handbag, looked at him and said, “Wow, who would’ve ever thought there would come a day when I pulled out all this money from my purse that I totally forgot I had?”

It’s mostly for anything urgent that may arise, since we do most of our shopping online or with debit and credit cards.

We stopped at Raley’s on the way home for some cooked food and treated ourselves to ice cream as well. These triple-digit temps are perfect for ice cream.

So now that I got my appointment out of the way and don’t have anything until my September dental appointment, and now that my TSH isn’t under 8, I’m feeling great both emotionally and physically. Wish I could always feel this way! I want to go out for a run being so full of energy, but there’s no way I’m running in this heat. Once my schedule rolls forward a bit more I can be out real late when it’s cooler. So while I’d choose to always be on days if it were up to me, CRD does have its advantages.

That loud car is coming and going. I thought I saw a moving truck there when we were heading toward the back gate, but it could’ve been people moving into the house next to them. I can’t wait for these people to move. I just hope to hell whoever moves into the four houses that are for sale on the circle don’t have such an insanely loud vehicles.

The house diagonally from us in back appears to have been abandoned. There’s a notice in the window of the door leading to the carport. I guess they’ve got so much time before they can sell it.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Elevated Red and White Blood Cells

Thanks, California, for spending 50 million dollars to ensure our illegals/immigrants continue to get their freebies while those of us who are from here struggle to pay for healthcare and so much more.

That’s what my lovely state is up to. Me… I’m going to my doctor in a couple hours for what I hope it isn’t my newest problem since I seriously can’t seem to catch a break. For many years I’ve had issues with my white blood cell count being a little elevated but this appears to be normal for me. But now my red blood cell count is slightly elevated too, so I guess that’s just one more thing I have to deal with. I don’t think it’s any big deal, though. She’ll probably just tell me something like to avoid iron supplements, which I don’t bother to take anyway. I guess iron supplements can generate more red blood cells. They can also block thyroid production along with calcium.

I guess there are a few underlying causes with varying prognoses. I found that I have some symptoms of some of the causes, but then most of us have some symptoms of just about everything anyway. Still makes me wonder about those head rushes, fatigue and shit like that which I always wrote off to perimenopause.

Trying not to worry about it, and remind myself that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, which includes making yet even more appointments. I just want a break until my September dentist appointment, and without any anxiety!

The interesting part of the results, which were posted at 10:30 last night was that my cholesterol, has actually improved. Improved! How did I manage that when I’ve eaten more meat lately and have been lazier due to the heat? It’s like I barely work out anymore. I was getting discouraged because I knew I couldn’t stick to it since I don’t feel all that great so much of the time.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

It Really Can't Wait?

Argh!!! The medical drama never ends. When my numbers still weren’t posted last night, I figured they had to be bad and that I was going to get a call about it. Well, I did. My TSH was 16. I was surprised. I expected 10-12. I just didn’t think three skips would jump me that much.

So now Dr. A wants to see me tomorrow. I explained to the medical assistant that I didn’t drive and that my husband couldn’t just randomly take time off from work, especially if it wasn’t an emergency. But then I called back and said that if she had anything from 4 o’clock on I could do that because then he doesn’t have to miss any work. She said she didn’t have anything at that time, was probably at lunch, and that she would have her call me back.

My kidney and liver function is fine, and while I know my cholesterol is high, I don’t know if it’s any worse. I did explain to the MA why my TSH was up. I don’t expect Dr. A to believe the medication has a role in the anxiety, but it’s obvious enough to me that I wouldn’t have one day become this way so late in life without it being chemically induced. The numbers could say 1000 for all I care if they’re going to make me feel better.

The fact that just a few skips can jump the numbers that much, and just a few skips can go a long way to making me feel better, proves to me even more that the problem is the medication. The thing is that the last time I skipped it was after labs and not before, so it didn’t reflect in my numbers.

With nothing life-threatening, I don’t see why we can’t keep our July 19 appointment.

I’m just so sick of this shit. Just so, so fed up with it in general. The doctors, the appointments… all of it. I’m sorry I ever went to the doctor in January 2014 after a decade of doing just fine without them.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Stronger and Weaker

I wonder why it is that when I use speech to text online, the words appear on the screen as fast as I speak them. But when I’m working in Word it sometimes prints slower than I can type.

Yesterday I had a good blood pressure reading and didn’t take it again after that. I wanted to keep those good numbers the last numbers I saw, haha.

It’s extremely hot and dry and very desert-like out there. We hit the pool yesterday, and sure enough there were kids that weren’t supposed to be there. We’re going to go again when he gets home from work.

I’ve become more heat sensitive and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older, fatter, going through perimenopause, or not as used to it since the winters are long here. It’s probably all of the above. Just walking from the car and alongside the pool to the steps leading into the pool made me feel like I was roasting and I could feel my heart start to beat a little harder. Once I hit the water, though, I was fine. It felt sooo good! It was the perfect temperature.

We definitely toughen up in some ways and become wimps in other ways as we age. When we first parked our old RV on the land in Oregon, the damn thing could get up into the 90s while he was out looking for work and the generator was off, and I remember how horribly uncomfortable I was. But that’s just the thing… I was uncomfortable. Now I would be scared and I might even end up panicking.

Yes, trauma/PTSD can definitely strengthen you as well as weaken you. It makes certain things that once seemed like such a big deal and even scary seem like nothing. But then there are things you look back on that you once did and you know you could never do them again. Sometimes I wonder what the hell we were thinking back then. Maybe I was a little too brave in some ways. A bear could have fought its way into the RV and eaten me alive. A big cat could’ve jumped me before I even knew what hit me when I was outside the RV. A forest fire could’ve ravaged those dry woods in no time, leaving me with nowhere to run. Hunters could’ve spotted me during those one or two times a vehicle would actually go down Boar Lane and decided it would be so much more fun to rape and kill me as opposed to killing deer, elk and moose. I had absolutely no means of calling for help, and so what if I did? No one could have gotten to me for the better part of an hour anyway.

Yeah, what were we thinking? LOL

So now I’m just a woman in her 50s left with a stockpile of “adventurous” memories that probably bordered on dangerous, and who’s a lot more chickenshit than she used to be. She’s smarter, but she’s no longer as brave. There’s no way in hell Tom or myself would let me be all alone in the wilderness with no one around for miles and no means of communication.

Unlike me, Tom is a native of the Sonoran Desert. In his younger days he would run for miles during the intense heat, loving to sweat because of the cleansing sensation it gave him. He was going to ride his bike when it was real hot yesterday for the same effect till he ended up doing something else.

Okay I get that you rid your body of toxins through your pores and all that, but I hate that yucky sweaty feeling!

He’s lost a lot of weight over the last few months.

Sunday, June 18, 2017


I was remembering Kara, a girl I knew in Arizona, and then the unwanted reminders of my parents just had to penetrate my dreams last night. Ok, can I please go a month – just one month – without reminders of anyone who ever said mean, evil things to me? Who laid a hand on me? Who allowed others to verbally, emotionally and even physically abuse me? Who threw me away in a time of need instead of offering support and being there for me? Every shitty relative, every shitty ex, every shitty fuck buddy, every shitty ex-friend, every shitty ex-neighbor and well, every shitty everything.

At least they are only in dreams and not reality, though there are a few scattered positive memories however few and far between they may be. Like the time dad drove up from Florida to visit when I was still living in the northeast, and I was telling him about my voice lessons as we got into his car. Before he put the key into the ignition, he put it in front of his face and went “Aaaahhhhh… See, I’m singing on key.”

That one was funny. I’ll give him that much. But still, he allowed for so much grief in my life and I believe that biology should never be a ticket to being excused from such behavior. I wouldn’t tolerate, worship, respect or care about someone treating me poorly that wasn’t related to me, and I never saw why I should make exceptions for those who are.

Nonetheless, I was living with my parents in the dream and attending some school while working as well. I woke up to find it was after 10am and realized I’d missed class and some work. My parents were out and I knew they would be all day. I figured they’d never know as long as I didn’t mention it.

Then I took a shower and greeted my dad in the kitchen at the end of the day as he was rummaging through the refrigerator, and decided to tell him I was “bad” for oversleeping. In a hushed tone I told him I hadn’t told mom. He just kinda went, “M-hm,” in acknowledgement.

Now can we please stop the parent reminders till at least the fall?

The dreams turned funny when my dear sis, who’s always there for me when the levothyroxine becomes evilthyroxine, even if there’s nothing she can do about it but listen to me whine, wanted to break into the house down the street.

We were living in the house I grew up in and we’d both been drinking every day. Not something either of us would do. That wine that went to hell yesterday would’ve been my first taste of alcohol since our Maui vacation 3.5 years ago. But we drank like fish in the dream and ran out one day. UPS was to deliver a huge case of wine for us that day. She came to my room and said she ran out and asked if I had any to hold her over till the delivery.

I said, “You’ve really gotten to like that stuff, huh? I like it, too.” But when I double-checked my closet floor, I found that I was out of wine as well.

Then she told me she wanted to break into the house down the street, pawn some valuables to buy wine till UPS arrived, then buy back their stuff and replace it before they could discover it was missing.


Back on with my busy weekend!