Wednesday, December 2, 2015

The Late 80's

A really neat idea came to me and that was to break down my life by the month using past journals as references. Rather than copy the actual journals (and possibly sensitive info I don’t want shared) I thought I would glance through each month and just write about the highlights that stand out.

I began keeping a journal in late 1987 when I was 21 years old and living in Springfield, Massachusetts. First, let me give you a quick outline of those pre-journaling years and an even quicker outline of the here and now.

I was born and raised in western MA to married parents and a much older brother and sister. We had a nice house with a big yard in a bedroom community, but not a lot of love to go around. We had more material things than love. Dad sometimes had a good sense of humor and was a very passive guy, but he let his negative, domineering wife wrap him around his finger. And abuse their kids.

My sister and I didn’t get along when we were younger, though we did have some fun times as kids, and my brother was good to me as a child. It was when I entered adulthood that he decided to cut ties with me much as he did with our parents. My sister and I get along just fine now.

We lived next to my maternal grandparents and one paternal grandparent ultimately came to live with us after having a stroke. They all died when I was between 17-19 and the other died before I was born.

I have/had two pairs of aunts and uncles and four first cousins, none of which I was very close to, especially as I got older. I am in touch with some extended family, however.

Except for allergies, asthma and a birth defect (my left ear), I was a pretty healthy kid. Still am, except that now I have Hashimoto’s and high cholesterol.

My teenage years were the worst of my childhood, spent in psych wards, foster homes and private schools. Yes, I attempted suicide, too.

As an adult I had my own apartment and was on disability from the late 80s to the mid-90s.

Moved to Arizona in 1992, met my husband in 1993, got married in 1994. No kids. Moved to Oregon in 2004, then finally to California in 2007. We live in an adult community.

Some of my favorite things and hobbies include: Reading, creative writing, blogging, languages, images of nature and animals, adult coloring books, collectible dolls/knickknacks, Netflix, pet rats, perfumes/oils, music and keeping in shape.

Location: Springfield, Massachusetts

October 1987

I went to the mall with Jenny C, a friend since grade school, where I bought my first journal on impulse.

An older guy named Kevin T, nicknamed Nervous for the way his hands would sometimes tremble, would sometimes give me rides when I needed to go grocery shopping or do things like that. Although he was harmless, he was a bit obsessed with me. We ate at Friendly’s restaurant this month.

I wasn’t too happy with my neighbor, Nellie R. She was a young Puerto Rican woman who lived two apartments away with her boyfriend and two kids. To say they were thieves was an understatement! They manage to get a blank check out of my checkbook when I wasn’t looking, but when threatened with court, they agreed to pay back the $50 they wrote it out for. They also took advantage of my naivety back then by asking me to cash checks that I didn’t know we’re stolen. These totaled $175. This was the first time I really felt myself wanting to beat the shit out of someone, but I doubted my then 90 pound body would be much of a match for her 180 pound body.

Ran into the older woman to the right of me at Bradlee’s. Didn’t know Maddie worked there. If it weren’t for her I would have bought the wrong size curtains for the kitchen windows.

Was seeing counselors and shrinks in these days and taking psych medication, and sometimes hanging out with a girl from South Carolina, Mary C.

November 1987

Slept over Mary's, didn’t get the money back that I lent her, and was broke during the first weekend of the month.

Was sick with a high white blood cell count. Had to force myself to work out at the club I belonged to, but not getting out only leaves me depressed.

Fran P visited, an old neighbor who lived near Kevin.

Was taking singing lessons and wishing I could conquer my driving phobia.

Mom tried to get me into supervised housing down in Florida. The woman she had call me didn’t get why she thought I needed that. Neither did I, and so I declined. I’d had enough of the strict and structured places such as the ones I was in when my mother gave me up to the state in my teens.

Took “Nervous’s” car by myself to the store, left the lights on, and needed a jump. Still wasn't feeling comfortable behind the wheel.

Spent the day at Mary's house during the second week of the month.

Met a girl name Shannon C at the gym I went to who thought she knew some people that may want to be tutored in sign language. Was hoping to do this on the side to make extra money, but she never set me up with anyone. She visited a few times though, once with her sister Doreen. I wanted to kick the crap out of the guy below for being an embarrassment and a disturbance because of the way he yelled at his GF while they visited. There was no chance of Shannon being a roommate at that point.

Came to realize just how sick of Nervous and his problems I was becoming, not to mention his obsession with me. Gotta admit I did sometimes get a kick out of his following me around and “spying” on me.

Did laundry at the house Jenny began renting and was “charged” for scraps of carpet even though I helped the stingy bitch clean her place. That is, while I ran out for coffee for her and listened to her horrid music.

Went to see Tammy at the end of the month. She gave me some food and money, which was always helpful.

Learned that my therapist, Trisha, would be leaving to work closer to home down in Connecticut.

December 1987

Did laundry at my parents’ house. Mom was a bitch, Nervous was getting jealous and threatening, I wanted the clothes back that Mary borrowed, and the money Nellie owed me.

The nurse weighed me as 118 pounds. This was considered a bit heavy for me back in these days, but I would soon go back to the usual 90-100 pound range of my youth.

Parents took me out for my 22nd birthday, which was depressing because I spent most of it alone. Jenny and her BF did come over in the evening.

Did some Chanukah shopping. I got dad Wynonna and Naomi's tape, mittens for Rebecca (niece), a coloring book for Lisa (niece), a cosmetic organizer for Jenny, and placemats for Tammy and Bill's table, and lastly, a bracelet for Kevin. Tammy is my older sister, but no one in the family had been in touch with our older brother, Larry, for some time.

I got quite a bit of stuff at Tammy's. Tammy, Bill and the girls got me a sleep shirt for Florida, where I’m going soon. From mom and dad I received socks, underwear, a big sweatshirt dress, a purse, earrings, a watch, a bracelet, a mini skirt with a shirt to go with it, 2 pairs of pants, a coat, gloves and a scarf. So I made out well!

Went over a financial aid form and applied for food stamps.

Hank, the guy below me, looked at the broken TV I kept in the kitchen. He said the transistors were gone.

Nervous, Fran and I watched a movie, and I gave Jenny 30 paperback books I didn’t want after she took me grocery shopping.

Dad took me out to dinner later in the month and spent some time in my apartment. We played around on my keyboard. That is, the one that plays music.

Met a girl named Crystal C and decided to see if she would make a good roommate. Through her I met a girl named Mary D. As lonely as I was I couldn’t stomach the thought of being intimate with someone so ugly, though I know she wished we could be. Unfortunately I was never one who could focus solely on personality. I had to have attraction as well.

Crystal would turn out to be a very lazy roommate who never wanted to help with the cleaning, and that included changing the guinea pig’s cage. She didn’t spend much time at the apartment because she enjoyed the company of her abusive boyfriend, wherever he lived.

January 1988

Visited my parents in Florida for 4 days. Enjoyed the weather, food, shopping and activities like swimming, but not my parents. Not that much, anyway. Dad was ok, but mom was her usual bossy bitchy self.

Returning home was depressing because it was cold and snowy. I called my cousin Philip and ended up speaking with his girlfriend Angie.

I went from depressed to angry when I learned from someone in the office that Crystal had her kids at the apartment while I was gone. I also discovered a picture frame that she broke, too.

Watched shows like Rags to Riches and Miami Vice.

I managed to track down Kevin's ex-wife, out of curiosity. According to her, Kevin used to beat the shit out of her and he knocked 3 teeth out of their son. He was very jealous of Diane and the boys’ friends, too. He owes about $10,000 in child support. I believe everything she told me, too.

Stuart came over for a visit. He was a gay guy I knew from Longmeadow High.

Went out to eat with Crystal and her BF. His aggressiveness showed in his wonderful driving skills.

Tammy visited from Connecticut with Lisa and Rebecca. We met at Friendly’s. After Tammy and I left Friendly's, we went to see her doctor who had to explain to her about the dental surgery she’s going to be having. Then after that, we returned to Friendly's where we met the daughter of a guy she once liked. Before she made the trip back home, she came to my place for a little while and met Crystal.

Bought a Laura Branigan 45, some musk lotion, Charlie perfume, and a checkered wool mini skirt for only $5.

Had a great time at the Willie Ross at my sign language class. The class was all in sign. No voices were used at all. The teacher tested us with finger spelling, signs and numbers. At the beginning of the class we signed with no voice and stated our names, and our weaknesses and our strengths. I said that I could sign very well but that my receptive skills were weak.

Rose called who is to be my new therapist. I will miss Trisha.

Getting increasingly irritated with Crystal’s laziness and refusal to help with the household chores. Considered raising her rent.

Went to court for prank phone calls but the other party never showed up.

February 1988

Not a very active month. Wasn’t happy with my new therapist Rose, though I couldn’t really say why.

Tried Nicorette gum for the first time to no avail.

Crystal was out of a work with a bad ulcer, and I was hoping she wouldn’t get fired for her overall laziness, but sure enough she did.

In the middle of the month my father had a triple bypass done.

March 1988

During this month I acquired a very nasty flu.

I also decided to go to La Baron Beauty School. Others suggested I’d do well at it and I didn’t really have anything else to do.

Nellie moved out and José asked me if he could temporarily store two suitcases in my place. Guess he didn’t move with her. I should have stolen his shit like he stole from me, but then I’d be just as bad as he was.

Received some beautiful pictures with a nice little letter. I wasn't surprised at her closing statement. “Stay well and out of trouble.”

Went to visit Tammy this month.

April 1988

Started hairdressing school at La Baron but couldn't really get into it.

Jenny and I went our separate ways. I just got sick of her selfishness. I feel we’ve become too different over the years, too.

Met a PVTA bus driver named Nissan. It was instant attraction for me, but as fate would have it, she had a GF.

Took in a stray cat I named Sasha.

Reunited with Andy through prank calling him. My crazy laugh gave away my identity. Our parents were friends for 30 years, but that ended in the 70s and I hadn’t seen him since. Learned he was gay and loved to play the keyboard.

Mom and dad were visiting Goldie and Al, long-time family friends. Mom and dad had the house up for sale at this time and had permanently moved to Florida.

May 1988

Despite hoping to win Nissan over, who didn’t seem happy with her current GF anyway, she decided to dump me instead. I was both hurt and angry, but mostly hurt.

A guy at the beauty school said he knew someone familiar with the entertainment business, but I wasn’t willing to get my hopes up or trust anything anyone says. I eventually quit La Baron cuz I got sick of it. Didn’t feel my heart was really ever in it. Mom and I were to check into getting me back into school for just the manicuring, rather than the whole hairdressing course, since they fucked up my financial aid application anyway.

I’d come to have quite a crush on singer Gloria Estefan by this time, and while I didn’t think she had the greatest voice I’d ever heard, I loved many of her songs.

Had hair extensions put in my hair, bringing its length to my waist. Mom hung up the phone on me when I told her it cost $140.

June 1988

During this month I helped my parents put their new kitchen table together and began attending Mansfield Beauty School for just the manicuring course.

I wanted to try to get myself to forget my impossible dreams and focus on what opportunities were actually possible to obtain.

July 1988

Took a long break from writing around this time. Like maybe a month. It was a hot sticky summer. I suffered allergies, anxiety and even some depression for a while.

I went to a deaf agency in hopes of finding a deaf roommate. Instead I got to meet a 41-year-old woman named Cecelia who’d always lived with her parents and hated gays and lesbians. She had a car and a steady job.

I got a new therapist, Debbie, out of a clinic that does home visits. She was a lesbian who made me wonder at first if she was interested in me by saying things such as, “I’ll show you my biceps some time.” But she wasn’t flirting. She was just proud of how well she kept in shape.

I met this guy named Al, an accountant, during this month, and try as I would, I just couldn’t get into him anymore than he could really get into the idea of a real relationship with me. The sex sucked and he had a lousy attitude. He was very judgmental and insensitive person.

I found out from my sister that mom miscarried before I was born. I wondered why I was never told about it.

Mom and dad took pictures of me that I needed for the state board's files for when I finished the manicuring course.

August 1988

This month I completed the manicuring course but had no immediate plans to seek a job doing this type of work. Still wasn’t sure it was what I wanted.

Just the same, I filled out the required health certificate in preparation of the state board exam.

Was still having problems with Al, knowing he was anything but right for me, but wishing it could work out at the same time. When he decided to dump me, I was more relieved than hurt. He even got me a card hoping there’d be no hard feelings.

But then he later surprised me with a visit and I was actually happy to see him. At least for a while I was.

Began to hang out with Andy more and more and got into yet another fight with my mother.

I was stood up again by Mary. Even though I wasn’t attracted to her in the way she was attracted to me, I wished she’d at least keep her word and be a friend.

Had to treat a urinary tract infection this month with antibiotics.

My waist at this time was down to a 23½ and I weighed just 97 pounds.

Was getting tired of living in such a rundown dilapidated neighborhood and wishing I could escape to a nicer place.

Had to call the rental office to let them know the doorbells were crossed.

I also took out my hair extensions because they turned very frizzy on me.

Became acquainted with a guy named Sam who owned a music store. I asked him about a job in sales, but never heard back from him on the matter.

Nellie and a girl named Lisa visited that I knew when I lived off of Belmont.

I actually had an intelligent conversation with Kevin at Dunkin Donuts. I realized I felt a little guilty for using him for rides and things like that. He had a lot of problems, but I wasn’t perfect either. Our friendship got much better at that point, though he would still get on my nerves at times with his clinginess.

Emily told me she was tired of seeing him at the drug store she worked at. Emily… who seemed to be abandoning our friendship more and more. I always never saw her after this, but that was mostly due to me no longer living in her neighborhood, and her having her own baggage to deal with.

At the end of the month I passed the state board exam with a 95%. My aunt and uncle took me to where the exam was held, and Mary was the one I demonstrated what I’d learned on, even if she barely had any nails to work with.

Mary and my uncle were pretty quiet while my aunt did most of the talking, some of it negative, even mean.

Mary continued to come up with her usual excuses for backing out of our plans, be it to go out to eat, to the movies, etc. Maybe she sensed I wasn’t into her in the way she was into me. I also came to learn she was a recovering alcoholic who was having setbacks and I’d had enough.

Around this time, I had my first discussion with my family about me moving down to Connecticut to be close to my sister, but I wasn’t ready to leave Springfield just yet.

Had to begin seeing Debbie at the clinic because they stopped doing home visits.

September 1988

Although I don’t remember how, I met an old lady named Ella May. She lived a few buildings away from me and bought some books from me.

Andy and I went to the beach in which our parents used to own cottages at. We saw Charlotte and Jim, along with Natalie and Al. My parents were still friends with Char and Jim, but not Nat and Al.

Had a great time at my parents’ for the Yom Kippur holiday dinner. We had Chinese food. Everybody's favorite. Tammy and Lisa were there. Was a bit of a sad good-bye to my parents as they were leaving for Florida the next day.

Started getting better at playing keyboards, partly thanks to Andy's help.

October 1988

Philip did me the favor of taking my stereo to be cleaned. I just wasn’t smart enough back then to take it apart and clean it myself.

Met a girl named Maria at a gay bar. She was a friend of a friend of Andy's named Bev. Bev wanted Maria and I was kind of interested myself, only Maria was in the closet and not showing much interest in me anyway.

Maria left my place after a visit with a barrette she asked to borrow while she was there. When I called asking about it, I was told I was “too pushy,” but that she would “figure out a way to try to get the barrette back to me." I never did see it again.

Caught with Sasha by the inspector, the cat would have to go live with Kevin. Even a doctor’s note couldn’t save her. I felt like I had nothing at this time… no pets, no money, no job, no love… no nothing.

Did some volunteer work for Channel 57.

Andy broke the news to his mother about our friendship, and Judy wasn’t happy with the idea at first being that I was Dureen O’s daughter.

One night when Andy visited he brought over his scrapbook of old Charlie’s Angels pictures much like ones I used to have when I was collecting pictures of them and Linda Ronstadt, my favorite singer. It was a nice trip down Memory Lane.

Of course we’d still make prank phone calls, too.

Found myself missing Kevin and feeling guilty even though he drove me crazy at times.

Was studying more and more Spanish in these days.

Was given to a therapist named Mary Lou by Debbie.

Got caught prank calling my old phone number, which just had to belong to a cop. That same cop not only threatened me, but I just knew he was behind the prank calls I just happened to start getting myself. But luckily for him I didn’t handle things the way I would handle them now.

Was seeing less and less of Emily as she starts school and works longer hours. But then at the end of the month she surprised me with a nice phone call.

Went to the Eastfield Mall with Andy where we each got some pizza. Sold some old records at a record store beforehand, and rain into Bill F. I knew him when I was in a foster home. He was a pleasant but strange guy that was hard to figure.

November 1988

Maria surprised me by giving me her phone number, but I quickly found it to be a waste of time. She still had no desire of even a friendship, let alone anything romantic.

Anna, the old lady next door who lived with her sister Julia, told me she got a strange phone call from a girl who asked for me and new who she was. She refused to give her any information nonetheless.

Kevin said he ran into Mary C and that she was pregnant. Well, she had to have cheated on her husband John, because John had a vasectomy.

Decided to try a gay dating service and would quickly come to regret it. It was way too much money for something that wasn’t guaranteed.

Went to see Emily at work who totally ignored me, even when there were no customers. But she totally jumped for joy when her pal Sylvia showed up. So that friendship was definitely over.

Ended up making a friend named Linda, a gay cabbie, that was dispatching one night when I was in the mood to pull some pranks.

Met with Tammy and the girls at our parents’ house. They were in Florida. Tammy put a glass dish on the stove that shattered and made a mess everywhere. As a joke she took a picture of it for mom and dad.

Adjusted to cutting back from 10mg of Navane to 5mg.

December 1988

My mom sent me this gross citrus fruit package with white chocolate for my 23rd birthday. Appreciated the thought, but found it a pity that she didn't know her own daughter well enough to know she hated citrus flavors.

Had to take Penicillin for a sinus infection.

Got a book on shorthand just to learn something new.

January 1989

Fran and I took a walk downtown to watch the New Years Even fireworks.

Kevin continued to be annoyingly obsessive.

Received a huge package in the mail from mom and dad. It had so much stuff. Several shorts, shirts, skirts, socks, underpants and 3 2-piece bathing suits, and also earrings, bracelets, necklaces, a watch with a spider inside it, a pocketbook, flip-flops for the beach, a beach bag and tanning oil.

Dialed the phone randomly just for fun and ended up talking to this 19 year old girl named Tammy. She had a 15-month-old daughter whose father took off when she became pregnant. We spoke on the phone for over two hours and met the next day. She looked a lot like the singer Tiffany. I felt bad for her because she was stuck living with her domineering alcoholic mother. Even so, Tammy had a temper and tons of baggage, so I was wary about getting too close to her.

February 1989

Tammy W wanted me to meet her one day, but I stood her up like she’d been standing me up, and for not returning my hairpiece. That was one of those long fashion pieces attached to a banana clip.

Eventually I went over to her place when her mother was out. She continued to tell me she liked me and wanted a relationship with me, but she never acted upon these words.

Reunited with my childhood friend, Jessie, Big Bird’s adopted daughter. I located her through her mother in our hometown. She was now in her own apartment with a baby boy.

Called a local entertainment agent, but was afraid to get my hopes up given the condition of my lungs at the time. My asthma and allergies were a big problem and I was still smoking.

Got a guinea pig, which I’d missed having. It was nice since I couldn’t have a cat.

My doctor was working with me to wean my addiction from Navane. I not only didn’t need the drug, but it was causing involuntary muscle twitches in the face and neck.

Went to the mall with Jessie and received a new dress from my mother. It was a size 6 yet too big.

Met a guy named Bruce Y. He was an awesome guitarist, but would soon mimic Al L with his insults and negativity.

I had a long talk with “Nervous's” mother about him calling me and hanging up or just not saying anything, and his spying. She said to take him to court if I had to. I now had absolutely no desire to see or talk to the desperate sicko. It had gotten way out of hand and to the point of no return, and you just never knew what a sicko like that would do or what was on their mind. Stalkers in movies were one thing. But being stalked in real life was another.

Was hired to work at Steiger's, but quickly came to see that retail just wasn’t me.

March 1989

Was still hanging out with Andy, Bruce and Tammy W.

Was learning more on the keyboards and got lots of beauty supplies… the nighttime moisturizer repair I got really softened my skin on my face. It wasn't so tight, dry and flaky anymore. I got 3 lipsticks. My favorite one is like a shiny gold color. I got 5 eyeliners, nail polish, perfume, Intimate perfume body lotion, a nail file, a cuticle pusher, 2 pencil sharpeners, concealing powder, foot bath, soap, Aloe Vera body lotion, a nail polish corrector pen and a 2-year calendar planner.

Early this month I was nearly raped and murdered. No joke. Part of it was my fault. Oh no, I wasn’t responsible for the sicko’s actions; just for being dumb enough to go to his house after only a few chats on the phone. Fortunately I escaped alive and unharmed, though I was very shook up and angry.

Andy moved to a new apartment. Pretty sure this is his first one.

Speaking of that, I was able to get my old apartment back on the corner of Locust and Woodside. It was a large 1-bedroom on the fourth floor, but I didn’t mind the climb. It was good exercise and this way I would have no one living above me. A guy named Russell now owned the building. Initially I would be his housekeeper.

I’d had it with the neighborhood I lived in. Especially after a couple of kids stole a car and nearly ran me over in it as the cops chased them.

At the new place I met new neighbors Jeanie and Jai, and an old one that was rude to me that I never liked named Rita.

Kevin wasted no time spying on me there as well, parking late at night in the street below until the drug dealers that weren’t infesting it the last time I lived there chased him off.

Was referred to a woman named Mary by my dating service and could tell by just talking to her on the phone that she probably wouldn’t be my type. I still agreed to meet her at Friendly’s where my hunches were confirmed. She was pitifully ugly and horribly shy. With blistery zits all over her face, braces, a gross body, and clothes that looked like they were decades years old and never been washed, I was anything but interested. She was so insecure and nervous. The things she said were so stupid and she kept pulling her sleeves over her hands and saying, "I'm so shy. People say I give them bad vibrations."

I grew closer to Linda emotionally as she did with me, only I wasn’t attracted to her physically. I knew she wanted a relationship with me, but I wasn’t about to lead her on and give her false hope either. I seemed to do a great job in these days of attracting those I didn’t want while those I did want didn’t want me.

April 1989

Linda was over visiting one night, and while I did some laundry I stupidly introduced myself to Jim, the guy below me. He was drunk as shit and undressing me with his eyes even though he had a girl with him. They invited me in, but I said I was busy.

An hour later he pounds the hell out of the back door. I was pissed cuz he startled the shit out of me and woke up Linda. I went to the door but didn’t open it. I just looked through the glass and asked what was up. He said I sounded grouchy. I told him why. He said he just wanted to know if I need anything. I thanked him and then he fucking goes and pounds on the walls on and off from midnight to 4am. Finally I called the police and let the landlord know about it, too.

Dad surprised me with a visit this month, Linda took me to see her place, and Kevin’s building burned down. He had to stay at the Y for a while.

Despite a bond forming with Jai, I respected the fact that he had a girlfriend he really cared about, and he the fact that I could never see him the way he saw me.

June 1989

Last month wasn’t a very eventful month, so I’ve skipped it. I began cleaning houses for a guy named Jim, and my parents put the summer cottage in Connecticut up for sale.

The Longmeadow house sold and I got some furniture from it. My parents were now full-time Floridians.

My friend Jessie had an ovarian cyst removed.

Jo L visited. Her and her husband Eddie, who had Alzheimer’s, were moving. I knew them the last time I lived there, and gave them a small dog that I found wandering the streets. I avoided Eddie because his disease made him very mean at times.

Started working graves at Denny’s in Chicopee with Andy.

I stopped cleaning the landlord’s house for good and he seemed a little upset, but that was just too bad. It would’ve been too much to handle cleaning for him during the daytime and working nights. I agreed to at least continue sweeping the apartment building’s stairwells.

Andy and I went to the beach, but having worked all night before, he had to crash in the car a few hours to have enough energy to drive us back home. I chatted with some of my parents’ old friends while he slept.

Jo was going to buy my furniture but then backed out, so I donated it to Goodwill.

My parents had a queen size waterbed with headboard shelves delivered to me, which I loved! According to the guy that set it up for me, it cost almost $400 with the sheets. The guy was obviously interested in me and a little bit creepy, asking me if I was seeing anyone, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t doubt that the prank call of a sexual nature I received shortly after was from him.

Met my neighbor Mark down on the first floor, and Steve, the black guy across from me. They were both kind enough to help move my old double bed out.

July 1989

My parents came to visit and treated me to a shopping spree in the mall. I got clothes, shoes and nail polish.

Andy and I were still working at Denny’s with Jayke, Scott, Robin, Libby, Bonnie, Pattie, Rich and Glen.

Maria came into the diner one night with her so-called boyfriend. I walked up to her and asked if she'd been to the Frontier lately and she said no, and then she asked me if I'd been there. I told her no cuz there's nothing but jerks there. Like her. Then while her boyfriend said nothing, I bitched her out about never returning my barrette, telling her it had been a gift from my aunt and so on and so forth. Then she asked me if I was having a bad day and not to bug her about a barrette. Then she wanted to talk to the manager. My answer was, “What goes around comes around.”

I walked off and then Andy went up to her pretending not to know what happened and asked her what was wrong. He said she was literally in tears crying and she said, "It's Jodi. I've got to get out of here before I smack her!"

Andy was real proud of me for standing up to the head-player, and we were laughing so hard about it afterwards. The closet case was welcomed to enjoy her “boyfriend.”

Had plans to buy a new guitar and VCR and do more clothes shopping.

Was invited to a spaghetti dinner at Mark’s place where he had his brother Tom and his wife Holly over. We laughed like crazy, exchanging jokes. We kept ringing Jim's doorbell, too. We tried to call but his line was busy. Today, after Tom and a friend of his painted all the porches, they threw off a tire that Jim had on his porch.

Andy and I went to the beach again, this time staying at Howard Johnson's so we’d have a bathroom and shower. Of course we couldn’t stay without pulling some of our famous pranks while we were at it. We dialed other rooms till the staff caught onto us. Eventually our phone rang and it was the guy at the front desk. We pretended we were sleeping and he apologized saying there must be some mistake somewhere. Haha.

We got to see Tammy and the kids, as well as Betty Ann and her mother. I remembered them from when I was a kid.

The next time we went to the beach it poured on us. And then the next time we went with Andy's friend Juliet. She was a really sweet person. We stayed at the Suisse Chalet.

I fooled around with Mark at the end of the month. Nothing serious, though.

Although I never did meet her in person, I met a woman named Bobbie through Fran. Fran was staying with the 40-something bisexual Lebanese woman and we had several chats.

August 1989

Andy and I went to a fancy restaurant near the beach and Theresa T waited on us. She and her twin sister Tracey used to rent a cottage near ours.

One time we went to the beach overnight and took Kevin with us. He slept on the hotel room’s floor, haha. We had fun teasing him at times, as usual.

Another dating service disappointment, this time called Eunice. Eunice, who brought her gay male friend with her on our “date” to the local fair, was rude, ugly and not the least bit feminine as I specifically requested.

Kevin brought me a phone recorder from Radio Shack where you could record phone calls. There was a little suction cup you placed on the headset of the phone with a small black cord and the other end of it went into the mike jack on a tape recorder. At the time it was pretty high-tech, and I had fun recording some of our pranks.

Was fired from Denny’s by a guy who would be fired himself later in the month.

September 1989

Andy was driving us home one night, and thanks to his quick reflexes, the driver that cut in front of us didn’t cause the major accident they could have caused.

Started receiving phone calls about Nissan and knew Linda was behind the calls as well. I talked to two women. I knew the first one I spoke with was definitely Linda. She asked about Jessie, Andy and Tony. Whoever the hell Tony was, I didn’t know. The second person I spoke to knew Nissan for sure because she mentioned some of the shit that happened between us. Either way, I knew I could no longer trust Linda.

Took some music lessons at a music school for a while… music theory, voice, piano, etc.

Hung out with Jessie, and we discussed possibly sharing a place, then got in a fight with Andy over some stupid shit, as we usually did back then.

My drunk ex-neighbor Hank called, but I didn’t feel like talking to the old guy.

October 1989

Had a nasty flu, which turned into bronchitis. Was given breathing treatments and put on an antibiotic.

Got my first VCR, and that’s all that happened this month for this year.

November 1989

My love life was getting nowhere and I was being stood up, led on, wanted for threesomes I didn’t want to have, and bullshitted to the point that I was seriously beginning to believe I would be forever loveless.

Meeting Margaret from Westerly, Rhode Island reinforced this sad belief. She was very nice, but a little high strung and pushy. There was also zero attraction on my part as well. To each their own, but I just couldn’t get into the butch look.

Began hanging out more with Steve, the black guy across the hall that worked at Westover Air Force base. He was one of the nicest people I’d met.

December 1989

Went to a straight bar with Andy called Annie’s where he had friends from Denny’s.

Flew down to visit my parents where they took me out to eat and to the pool and spa in their retirement community.

The next day we went to a flea market and I bought a tiger print bikini. I also got some postcards to send home and a beautiful necklace.

The third day was my 24th birthday. I was at ma's store helping her out and she gave me a one-piece bathing suit that was pretty, though I preferred two-pieces in these days.

Dad and I fished from their dock.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

My Life in 1302 Words

I usually include a bio about my life as a whole as well as my day-to-day life in my blogs and journals. However, I decided that rather than go on and on with a highly detailed account that's hundreds of pages (given that I now have nearly half a century of experiences) I decided to make it as brief and as to the point as I can. I'm going to condense as much info as I can into as few words as possible, not that this won't still be somewhat long.

I am a liberal woman born in 1965 in Massachusetts to a very controlling and judgmental mom and a passive father. Too passive. He sat back and did absolutely nothing to stop his wife from abusing their kids. Most of it was verbal and emotional abuse, though sometimes it got physical.

I have a sister and brother. Tammy is still alive and she is 8 years older than me. My brother, Larry, was 12 years older than me and he died of liver cancer a few years ago. As a matter of fact he and my parents all died in 2012. My mother had a stroke and my father had a heart attack. They were 80 years old, and my brother was 58.

All three of the grandparents that I knew died at age 75, one in 1983 and the others in 1985. My nephew also died at age 16 in a traffic accident.

Much of my immediate family, as well as aunts, uncles and cousins didn't get along. Sometimes we didn't even speak to each other. Today I am in touch with my sister and two of my four nieces, as well as a distant cousin. Most of them now live in Florida and I'm guessing I will live there one day as well.

My childhood could be anything but pleasant at times, and I even became suicidal in my teens as well as a award of the state. I was in a couple of psychiatric facilities as well as foster homes and a long term residential school for girls.

I'm a short, green-eyed brunette going gray. Although I have been pretty healthy most of my life, I have had some problems along the way... a deformed left ear which I totally regret them operating on when I was 10 years old (plastic surgery), and then again when I was 29 years old to drill a canal. The surgery I had when I was 29 was necessary, however, because it was thought that I might have a tumor, but it ended up giving me problems later on in life. The damaged nerve endings cause aching and sensitivity at times.

I've also had to deal with asthma and allergies, although quitting smoking in 1997 has minimized those problems.

I'm farsighted and wear bifocals. I hate wearing glasses but there's no way around it at this point.

My favorite color is pink and I love seafood and Chinese cuisine. I hate salty, spicy and citrus flavors. I like most kinds of music, but not gospel, jazz or heavy metal.

I don't know if there's a God or not, but I know I don't believe in religion because of the way it is overly structured and teaches people to hate those who are different than them.

I also don't know if I believe in the afterlife, ghosts, angels or devils. Maybe things happen for a reason, but maybe they don't.

I have a very debilitating sleep disorder, but I'll skip that one because too many people don't get it, and well, I don't feel I owe the world an explanation. Let's just say it makes keeping a schedule long term nearly impossible.

After spending most of my life on the slim side, I noticed I was gaining weight and that diet and exercise wasn't helping other than to get me stronger. I wrote it off to age at first until that, combined with other symptoms, made me suspect that something was wrong with my thyroid or that I had diabetes. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease in early 2014. I've never been able to lose the weight, which is about 30 extra pounds, but I did stop gaining.

I also have high cholesterol, but I'm not worried about it. I try not to take any medication unless I absolutely have to because I am prone to side effects. From mid to late 2014 I had terrifying effects when I had pockets of activity in my thyroid flareup, flipping me from hypo to hyper.

I left home right before I turned 19. I had a total of three apartments in Springfield, Massachusetts from 1985-1991.

For nearly a year I lived in South Deerfield, Massachusetts before moving down to Norwich, Connecticut near where my sister lived with her first husband at the time, which also wasn't too far from the beach my family used to spend its summers at. I actually lived in the projects because I was low income and on disability at the time, and the place caused me to have a nervous breakdown.

Following the breakdown, I moved to Phoenix, Arizona in 1992 where my close friend, Andy, lived at the time. In 1993 I met my husband Tom, and we were married in 1994. We never had children in which I'm glad for, even if it means not having anyone to help see us through the golden years. Instead we've mostly had a variety of rodents, rats being our favorite for their intelligence.

After having a grand total of four apartments, I moved into Tom's house. I wasn't impressed with the house because it was older and didn't have the greatest layout. I loved that it had a pool in the backyard, but the worst thing about it was definitely the freeloaders next-door. These welfare bums drove me absolutely crazy with loud noise, trash and vandalism, and after we all eventually moved, they used their connections in law-enforcement, played the race card together, and legally raked me over the coals. I was eventually vindicated, but not before I could suffer an untold amount of stress, frustration and mental anguish, and lose thousands of dollars, countless hours of sleep, and 180 days of freedom.

We left Phoenix in 1999 for rural Maricopa. In 2004 we left Arizona for good and headed for Klamath Falls, Oregon. I hated the cold and the snow there, though I do miss some aspects of small town living.

We came to NorCal in 2007 and struggled financially until 2011, then bought a house in an adult community in 2013.

In my younger years I have done housekeeping as well as exotic dancing with a little bit of singing mixed in after I had some training. I have been a very content homemaker and writer for many years now, and I don't give a damn about those who look down upon my type and consider us "old fashion." I'm happy and that's all that matters.

I am an Amazon author who writes in support of equality, and a part-time detective. The latter I'm not at liberty to discuss.

I have had both boyfriends and girlfriends before meeting my wonderful husband who has always loved and accepted me as I am. He is also in good health. He just has a little high blood pressure. He is a hard worker who is capable of learning almost anything.

Whether you want to call it psychic, intuitive or something else, I have had dream premonitions on and off throughout most of my life, especially as I have gotten older. I prefer not to have these because they are almost always in a negative way when I do.

My hobbies either have or still do consist of singing, dancing, creative writing, keeping a journal as I have since 1987, reading, music, winning sweepstakes and contests, doll collecting, working out and studying foreign languages.