Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Still Searching for My Energy


There is nothing more frustrating than your mind wanting to do things while your body simply won't cooperate. Again I'm feeling like shit. I am so tired of feeling tired! I intend to discuss it with my PCP when I see her Friday but even if there was medication for me, chances are my body won't be able to tolerate it. It is SO frustrating when there might be medication for this or that but you can't take it because your body can't handle it. It's almost as if something up there wants me to suffer.

I was fine on Sunday, but last night I slept like major shit, constantly waking up. No nightmares, though. I don't even remember any dreams I might have had. All I know is that I took a Benadryl before bed and I woke up seemingly every 15 minutes. By the time I got up I felt like I’d only slept a few hours if even that, and I felt like I had a Benadryl hangover like the stuff can sometimes leave you feeling. Now I’m just light headed and fatigue, but that’s annoying enough. I have zero energy. I could barely bring myself to brush my teeth. With my shit luck I’ll get my energy back a few hours before bed.

I'm just sick of this shit, but I feel helpless as far as what to do about it. I really don't think there's much I can do, as it's just something every woman who goes through perimenopause has to deal with.

Despite how shitty and out of it I feel today, we had a fun and productive weekend. We did fun things and we did not so fun things in that they were things that needed to be done.

Tom dyed my hair for me and now it’s fried as hell. I'm going to have my layers trimmed soon and hopefully that will make it look healthier.

We went for a bike ride early in the morning yesterday and I thought to myself, my God have I gotten this out of shape due to being too tired to work out so much of the time?

My legs felt weak and rubbery. I'm having more bad days than good these days where I'm not able to do as much, so yes, I have definitely been slacking off on working out. I just don't have the energy anymore and I don't know if I ever will again. I sure hope I will, but the longer I don’t, the more I lose hope of ever getting my old self back. I miss having energy most days!

After the bike ride we change the rats’ cage and after that we went out and put a few of the color changing solar lights in front after trimming some bushes. Bob and Virginia drove by and we waved to each other. Then the "Twenties" walked over and we chatted for a few minutes.

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