Monday, October 31, 2016

Adding the Past

I've been getting some questions about adding old journals to this blog, and yes, I'm slowly adding them. But because there are so many years to add, it might take me a year or two to screen and copy them in.

I just added what I have so far of 1993 but I backdated it to January of this year because I want to keep the old stuff ahead of the current day to day stuff. Just click open January and you'll see it, if you're interested. Will add more to that year soon.

Again this weight thing is really weird. I lost that half a pound that I gained yet I ate like a pig yesterday. I almost always binge on weekends. My only exercise was walking around Walmart.

Yesterday morning was chilly and clear and then the wind picked up and by lunchtime it started raining. This went on for a couple of hours. It was nice to hear the sound of rain instead of motorcycles, chainsaws, blowers and mowers.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

61292 Words


Yesterday I finished my book at 61292 words! After a MASSIVE editing job it will probably come to 62K - 63K words.

Even though Fitbit says I was “under the zone” calorie-wise for yesterday, I’m up half a pound today. Tom says you can’t weigh yourself on a daily basis. I say Fitbit can’t accurately estimate the pitiful calorie burn for one with Hashimoto’s.

Last night I dreamed of winning $2000 worth of makeup. I don’t see it as a sign of anything extraordinarily good to come, however, since I’ve had very few dream premonitions in quite a while now. It was still better than being chased by flying spiders.

I also had a dream we were moving and that I was telling someone that this park/house was a mistake. It’s noisier than I would like but I would never consider it a mistake. Not leaving Arizona in 1999 and moving to Oregon… that may be a mistake. Maybe even coming to this state. But if we hadn’t, as I told S, we never would have met.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Thinkx


Today I’m achy from my hips to my knees, but life is otherwise good. It’s raining and it will rain tomorrow too, which always keeps things quieter around here. Even yesterday was quieter.

I tried to get Tom to address his dental issues to his doctor after having his 6-month checkup in case he needed antibiotics, but sure enough, he didn’t. He said his doctor would only tell him to see a dentist anyway. Then he teased me about jinxing him because his tooth was horrible afterwards. I still think it’s going to come and go till he deals with it.

He might’ve had a point in saying that I would sleep better if I made sure I didn’t get into bed too early and waited until I was ready to fall asleep. I’ve been having to push my schedule for my upcoming appointments, and by not getting into bed until I’m really tired, I do seem to be sleeping better and waking up less often, although that’s not what Fitbit says. Fitbit says I was awake 4 times and restless 30 times. Really? I only remember waking up twice (once to pee), but as I’ve learned, you can’t always go by numbers. You have to go by how you feel. A TSH of 3 may be perfect for most people, but it’s hyper for me, which means the anxiety from hell, rapid weight loss, rapid HR, and plenty of diarrhea. Waiting until I’m ready to drop before I get into bed means better sleep for me and more energy the next day. :-)

They have these new period panties called Thinkx that are supposed to replace pads and tampons and seem really interesting. I was tempted to try a pair, but at $40 apiece I decided I was too close to menopause for it to be worth it.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Never Hated Motorcycles More Than Now

The motorcycles have been driving me crazy, sometimes as early as 6am.

On the bright side, the ridiculous noise levels despite living with old people are the worst of my problems and my only problem. Everything else is going well. I’ve had fewer earaches, and my hip is doing better.

The only thing I remember for dreams seems to be something about chatting with Jenny and resuming our so-called friendship. I definitely wouldn’t have any desire to do that even if she lived right down the street. No hard feelings after nearly 30 years, just no desire to associate with her. Or Emily. Or even Jessie since I stopped hearing from her and deleted her on Facebook sometime ago.

I don’t know if there’s something about me personally that loses people like I have or if it’s simply just a part of life, but I’m not about to sweat it and change who and what I am either. I’d rather be myself and lose people and have only a few good friends, rather than be more like the rest of the world and meet their standards just to hang onto people easier and acquire more friends.

Jenny dumped to me because I had too many more problems than she could handle. I was still very young and had a lot of shit to work through. She left me to have to go it alone until I met Andy. Andy wasn’t always high on sensitivity and support, but he was there… until I cut ties with him because I couldn’t tolerate his negativity (I know in his mind he felt he was only being honest) or his arrogant, judgmental and annoying ways.

Emily and I basically just drifted apart, though she may have been uncomfortable with my coming out. Again… no problem. Baring our true selves shows us just who our true friends are and who they aren’t. Some are proud of me for being me, others criticize it, not that I care. I mean I’m still going to do what I’m going to do. But yeah, if you don’t like one that can be blunt, liberal and a bit eccentric, then I’m not the friend for you. I don’t believe in invisible fantasies people call God. I don’t make excuses for my mother’s abuse because it’s “kind” or “correct” by saying she “did the best she could” or that she “must have loved me deep down.” I just don’t sugarcoat things is what I’m saying.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Metabolism & Pain


One of my long time followers and friends had an interesting point when they suggested that my metabolic issues could make me more sensitive to pain. I mentioned it to Tom and he said it makes sense when you really think about it. It might be why my Endo asked me about joint and muscle pain when I last saw her in May. My knees and ankles used to bother me before I began treatment.

My hip pain is definitely fueled by activity. It doesn’t act up just for shits and giggles. Yesterday I did 15 minutes on the skier and the pain was minimal. After that round I made around the circle, however, it became very stiff and sore. Makes me wonder how I managed to twirl around on stage all night long, half naked on heels, 25 years ago. Times really do change, LOL. All I remember from those days are sore feet. I was sore overall after my first day, but then my body quickly got used to it. Unless a certain lady would ever like a private little dance… my dancing shoes have long since been hung up.

Tom and I are going out walking before work but it will only be for about 20 minutes, so that means a  duck walk as opposed to an office walk, or an RV walk, or a perimeter walk. OMG, I think a perimeter walk, which is just over 2 miles, would damn near kill me.

Her suggestion explains why Bob and Jim can walk for a mile or two every single day while in their late 80s. But here I am having barely cracked my 50s and wondering what condition I’m going to be in in another 20 years. Assuming I’m even alive, that is. I still have a chance of an instant extinction thanks to a heart attack or a stroke since that shit runs rampant in my family. Other than asthma and allergies, I really didn’t expect to get any additional diseases or conditions until I was over 70, but I guess one can never know. Almost anything can hit us at anytime.

I got up to pee a few hours after I crashed and I made a mental note to remember the dreams I’d had thus far. Yet as is often the case these days, once I woke up for good, I couldn’t remember a thing.

My incontinent little fur babies are gonna want to come out soon, run around, play chase, play hide and seek, and mark the same damn “territories” that have already been marked god knows how many times. Damn right when I say the next place is only going to have carpet in the bedrooms! If you’re a rat, then everything must be chewed on and pissed on as far as you’re concerned.

Final Descent

To say that this October has been much better than last October is the understatement of the century. At this time last year I was making my final descent into hell as my Endo fine-tuned my thyroid meds.

But is something up there trying to keep me from enjoying walking and jogging around the park? Seriously, it really truly does seem like it’s been one thing after another for over two years now. First it’s my anxiety. Then I have hot flashes to worry about, and now I’ve got various aches and pains holding me back. It’s mostly my right hip. I don’t know if it’s the sciatic nerve as Tom suggested, arthritis, or something else. I just get tired of one thing after another keeping me from enjoying exercising outdoors more often. I don’t mind watching my shows while on my skier, but being outdoors in the fresh air is always nicer. Of course the weather can be an issue, too. I don’t want to be out running at 100° anymore than I want to at 30°.

It just seems too coincidental, though. If I had issues for a few months or maybe even a year, that’d be one thing. But I’m really starting to feel like something is seriously trying to choke back my outdoor exercise, and this is coming from an agnostic who tends to lean more toward atheist.

So if there is something trying to cut my outdoor activity down, then why? Is it protection or punishment? I can’t imagine anything trying to protect me from anything in a gated adult community. The odds of being abducted, robbed or raped or anything like that here are next to nil. I don’t carry a purse and not many perverts are going to be interested in one my age. Besides, this isn’t the place to scout for victims anyway.

So ruling the protection thing out, since criminal activity is unlikely as is a pack of wolves or a giant grizzly bear, then am I being picked on for some reason? If so, I can’t imagine why? Whose ass did I ever prevent from enjoying the great outdoors?

Eh, I gotta assume – and hope – that I’ll finally stop “happening” to have one thing after another soon enough. Can’t help but wonder… if I vowed to quit outdoor working out altogether and just do it at home, would I have fewer problems?

I skied for about 15 minutes and was going to do 3 rounds around the circle to bring it to a half hour, but sure enough, I only made one round before it started raining. We’re in for a few days of rain this week except for tomorrow.

Anyway, whether it’s happenstance or something determined to keep my outdoor activity to a minimal, I’ve been doing well overall. No anxiety. No recent earaches.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Bed, Bath & Beyond


Enjoying a mocha cappuccino sucker now. Got it at Bed, Bath & Beyond along with a large Hawaiian Lei bath bomb, a set of 5 smaller Raspberry Cream bath bombs, a “diamond” studded rainbow headband most people my age wouldn’t touch, and a couple boxes of K-cups.

Then we went to Walgreens for junk food and to get my passport photo taken. As I’ve heard many say, we don’t realize just how big we are till we see pictures of ourselves. I am both HUGE and OLD looking.

I once managed to give up cigarettes, so maybe I can kick my junk food addiction soon, too. I really binge my weekends away. Since I plan to once again stick to low to no cholesterol foods beginning in November in preparation for my December labs, maybe that’s when I’ll throw myself on a diet. I won’t lose more than a few pounds being that I’m still an older woman with a bum thyroid, but I’ll be healthier. Although I’m still smart enough to recognize how shitty I look, I wish I could be as obsessed with my appearance as I was in my teens and 20s because that’d probably help motivate me to eat healthier foods and less of them, too. But you know how it is… the older we get the less we care about looks, especially if we’ve got someone who will always love us no matter what.

Anyway, this will be my last week of beef, eggs, and foods like that. Then I’ll just hope for the best as far as both my thyroid and cholesterol numbers go and hope my doctors don’t read this and see how naughty I am between labs, haha.

No, Doc A, I will not take more levothyroxine and I will not let you statin me either. Statins didn’t stop Tammy from having a heart attack, and I really like being 99% anxiety-free, too.

I started to overheat in my sleep and get a beatathon going, but only for a minute. That’s what I get for not sleeping with the fan on and doubling the blanket in this rather extended summer. Yeah, every time I think the cold is here to stay, we have a warm spell. I like it even though it brings out the motorcycles.

Could’ve sworn a loud bang woke me up, too. I could’ve been dreaming, but more than likely some large vehicle hit the speed bump in back too hard. Next house is gonna be on a less traveled street for damn sure.

I had two dreams that took place in our Maricopa house. In one I was commenting to Tom on just how huge the living room was (even though it looked a bit different) as he sat in a room just off of it, and how I wanted to add more décor to the walls.

Then in another dream there we were supposed to have dangerously high records of heat and humidity. I looked out the front window into the darkness and saw taillights blinking on a few cars that had stopped nearby.

Then I was in some fancy spa or salon in the middle of the night, wandering around with a bag of beauty supplies. People in white coats worked in small rooms with ambient lighting. The place was open 24/7 and they were doing a beauty treatment of some kind on me that was supposed to take 4 hours. The procedure took just 2 hours, though, and then I was free to leave.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Please Invent Rat Diapers

Diets leave me hungry. Exercise leaves me hurting. Is something trying to tell me something? My hip’s been screaming at me lately, though it’s an “easy suffering” compared to other things I’ve gone through. I don’t feel it sitting or lying down, but only when I’m standing. Tom wonders if it’s my sciatic nerve. Regardless, I’m taking the day off from exercise, but I’m still doing household chores. The last load of laundry is in the dryer now.

Although I slept late, it’s been surprisingly quiet for such a lovely day. It’s 74° out there, so where are all the motorcycles? I don’t even hear any landscaping.

Once they turned the water back on after four hours yesterday I noticed that it was clearer. So I can once again take a bath if I want to. I’m not nearly as big on baths as I am on showers, but I really like those bath bombs because of how much they help my dry skin. Symptoms of hypothyroidism simply don’t go away with treatment. You still have dry skin and hair and you still can’t lose weight, though I suppose age is a factor as well. I’ve had dry skin since my early 30s, and I abuse my hair with dye and straightening brushes.

I don’t understand what’s up with my computer at times. When I first got up there were some sites I wasn’t able to access, like Twitter, Netflix and Pinterest. I suspected an issue with flash, but then I was suddenly able to access them again.

They really need to create diapers for rats. I love these guys, but I am really sick of the trail of piss they leave on just about everything, including me. How many times do they have to mark me in order to be considered part of their “territory?”

Said hello to Jim at the mailbox. He said to say hi to Tom. They wave to each other when he's out walking when Tom leaves for work.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

5 States, 50 People, 1000 Words


I hate it when my health prevents me from living life. For the first time in a while I am horribly lightheaded. I really wanted to enjoy a nice walk this morning but I just didn’t feel comfortable going out there myself, even though I highly doubt I would’ve passed out or anything. As always, I can never know for sure what’s causing it; only speculate.

Since walking is out of the question today, maybe I’ll at least have the energy to work on the Bowflex. It doesn’t feel like I’m just lightheaded when I get lightheaded but fatigued as well. It’s like all I want to do is just lie around yet I really want to get on with my usual routine.

I’m almost finished with my story and I have a potential idea for November’s NaNoWriMo if I can just get the energy to finish this book and put the new idea together. It’s actually a little different. It’s not really a novel. Instead I thought it would be cool to write about the people who have had the most impact, or at least somewhat of an impression on me, excluding family. In order to win you have to write 50,000 words. I’ve lived in 5 states and was thinking of maybe picking 10 people per state. So I was thinking 5 states, 50 people, 1000 words each.

The fucking park is going to turn our water off AGAIN tomorrow from 8am – 2pm. This time I called and blasted them out but got what I expected… that when the pipes break they have to fix it.

“Did you guys ever think of maybe lowering the space rent as often as this happens or compensating the residents somehow?” I asked.

Of course not. Instead they turn our water off every month, force loud music on us even if they don’t do it often, drive some of us crazy with the daily landscaping sounds, allow motorcycles to spoil the peace even more… and to hell with what we have to say about it.

Since we’re not in a position to move right now with all the debt we’re in, we’re thinking of getting a little reservoir that goes in the bathroom that would allow us to flush the toilets when the water’s off. This is something that’s obviously never going to stop, especially since, as Virginia said, it’s been going on since 1988. So if they can’t fix the problem in over three decades, they never will.

We still have a shitload of dirt in our hot water tank to get rid of too, plus we need to put a filter on the place if I ever want to take a bath again and feel like I’m not in a lake or the ocean.

This weekend I also want to scale back from Sierra to El Capitan. This OS is too buggy. It’s just that Tom never has the time to do these things with me, and understandably, is exhausted on weekends with all the hours he works.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Glasses


Strangely enough, my heart started pounding after going to the bathroom yesterday. I felt absolutely no anxiety, though, and I went through the tapping routine S taught me and it slowed down in just a few minutes. I didn’t have my Fitbit on at the time, but by the time I buckled it on my HR was down to 112. I also felt a bit nauseous and out of breath, but whatever it was passed quickly.

My new glasses arrived and I love them. I would still prefer not to need them at all or to have the guts to poke my eyeballs with contacts so I only needed reading glasses, but they’re very comfortable. One is purple and the other is red with white arms that have a red floral design on them. The purple ones look best on me. Those are my mid-range reading glasses. The only thing I would change is that I would make those my bifocals that I wear outdoors because they look better on me. It’s no big deal, though. I have no problem with the bifocal lines and they transitioned nicely to the sun when I was out walking for a half-hour earlier.

Monday, October 17, 2016

San Diego?

In odd years we get a major purchase and in even years we go on vacation. It rained all day yesterday – sometimes hard – and we decided to just take the day off to do absolutely nothing. So mixed in with Netflix, audiobooks and too much food, we decided to get some rough ideas on where we may go for our next vacation in 15 months or so.

We looked at flights to Tahiti, Fiji and Jamaica. Given that we’re in the western part of the US, these would be very long flights. Having so much travel time the last time, we decided we might just stay in our own state and drop down to San Diego. It will only take an hour and a half to fly down to Los Angeles, then about an hour to San Diego. It’s tropical and there would be plenty of activities that we would both enjoy.

I wouldn’t be adding another country to my list but I would be adding another major city because I’ve never been there before. It would be so much less flying time and money that it’s very appealing. That is unless they lay him off and screw up all our plans big-time.

I have been to most of the major cities in California except for San Diego and San Francisco. Despite the fact that part of the book I’m writing now takes place in San Francisco, the only thing about the place that would interest me would be touring Alcatraz. The climate is otherwise not what I prefer and I would hate all the hills.

There’s only a 25% chance of rain today, which means it probably won’t rain which means it will almost certainly be noisy. The landscapers are going to be eagerly after the leaves and twigs scattered about from yesterday’s rainstorms.

A part of me wishes it rained regularly because of how quiet it is when it does. You still hear loud cars and trucks at times, but you don’t hear motorcycles or landscaping or other outdoor activities. I know that if it did rain all the time, however, it would quickly get depressing. I can see a daily burst of rain in a warm climate, but when it’s cold, gray and rainy it can get old pretty fast. It wasn’t that cold, though, just chilly.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Glad and Not Glad

So this guy handcuffs this girl to their bed for kinky sex when an intruder breaks in. He then frantically tries to hurry up and free her so they can fight back or at least get away. During this dream in which I awoke with my heart pounding for a minute or two, I wasn’t sure if I was a silent observer in the dream or if somebody was telling me this story.

Then I had a couple more dreams in which I am both glad and not so glad that I haven’t had much in the way of dream premonitions over the last few years.

In the first dream I was writing to tell Alyssa that I would be having heart surgery on January 7. She actually surprised me with a reply to the message but that was only because she felt bad for me. I replied to her reply and that was it as far as that dream went.

The last dream was great. I got a message from a certain not so tall, dark and lovely lady. Although I don’t remember hearing her voice much less what she said, I knew the message was from her. The only part of the dream I remember vividly was walking by wherever I had my phone laying around and noticing the blinking light of the message indicator.

I don’t hold out much hope of it being a sign of anything. Not after my win dreams failed to produce any wins, and not having any nightmares pertaining to Tammy when she had her heart attack.

The weather’s been wet and in the 60s, but in a couple days it will be dry and in the 70s.

I’m doing what I usually do on weekends… overeating, watching Netflix, listening to audiobooks, and changing the rats’ cage. It’s been a nice relaxing weekend so far. :-)

Friday, October 14, 2016

Storm's Coming



Went on a nice walk with Tom this morning who is now at work, and had fun playing with Burke and Dumbo, especially Burke because he’s the friendliest and the most playful. The others prefer to play with each other, but Burke likes to include me in some of their games and will run over to give me his version of a hug and kiss every now and then to remind me he loves me. As usual, they all ignore poor Tom, haha.

Simon rarely comes out and we don’t think he’s very healthy. He’s not dying or anything like that, but it’s like he doesn’t have much energy. He’s not very playful. He spends most of his time either eating or sleeping.

We’re supposed to get a big storm today, even if our definition of “big storm” is a bit laughable compared to some places.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Sierra

Neither of us is having a great day so far. His teeth ache and he’s almost certainly infected and in need of antibiotics. He knows he can get them if he needs them, but what he really needs to do is get his damn teeth taken care of. All of them. He can’t keep treating part of the problem forever. But unfortunately he has a phobia of dentists just like I do with medication. To him, having to see one makes him feel much like I would feel if I had to have eye surgery.

He took some ibuprofen to work with him but I still worry about him. Also, I slept really shitty and didn’t even get six hours of sleep. I woke up every hour. Every time I woke up and considered taking lorazepam, I drifted back off to sleep, so I never did take any.

Today I’m not only tired but I’m also lightheaded and feeling a little anxious. No earaches, though. It still sucks because I had been feeling so well. Hopefully I’ll get better sleep next time around and I’ll feel better tomorrow. Fortunately I’m blessed with working at home, so I can take breaks if I need to. I’d say it’s unlikely I’m going to work on my story today.

I started getting worried about Tammy because I noticed she hadn’t been online much and she wasn’t responding to my emails or messages. I don’t expect her to respond to every single one, but she usually responds to some of them.

I called both her cell and landline and got no answer. Norma hadn’t heard from her either and so she tried to call as well. She managed to get a hold of her and then she told me that Tammy would call me, and she did. It turns out that she did get evacuated after all, so she, Mark and their dog went to stay with the girls and their cat. The girls live in an apartment building that’s built to hurricane standards. LOL, it was probably a bit chaotic, though fun. Wish I could’ve been there.

One of the best things she told me was that she quit smoking over a month ago! Finally! I’m so proud of her. Sure enough, and as I warned her would be the case, she’s gained weight. Better to have the extra weight and be able to breathe, though. I quit smoking 19 years ago at 110 pounds and shot to 125 pretty fast.

Mark is back at his old job, which is good. They were happy to have him back, too.

We talked about a few other odds and ends… our loved ones, our pets, etc.

They had a quick power outage where Tom works yesterday, but nothing here.

We’re in for another warm day today, which might be why I slept so shitty yesterday, so I had him open the bedroom vent again to sleep more comfortably. It’s going to be a little warm tomorrow too, then the forecast is calling for a surprising four days of rain. That would be wonderful if it rained on the 16th because that’s when they’re having the Oktoberfest, and if the band plans to play outdoors, I would think rain would ruin those plans and prevent me from having to listen to the thumping of base for four hours. I couldn’t get that lucky, though, but we’ll see. Just maybe I will.

I updated my computer’s operating system from El Capitan to Sierra, and the first bug I found was with highlighting issues. You have to highlight text quickly otherwise it won’t work. I guess that’s all that’s really wrong that I know of so far.

I love my new necklace in new cut-shoulder shirt, but I’m not sure of the color. It’s a great fit, but baby pink is a bit pale against my equally pale skin. More of a contrast would have been nicer.

A year or two before my parents died they sent me tons of clothes. Most of them were very nice, stylish, and came at a time when I could really use them. But now that they’re getting old and we’ve got money, it’s nice to replace some of them. Not all of them but some of them; with styles and colors of my own choosing. There are many great fashions on Amazon and surprisingly cheap, too.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

I Don't Smell Rats but I Smell Revenge


If there was ever a time I wished I checked into Facebook more often it was now. I just discovered one of my nieces was in the hospital for a shoulder injury. I admit I’ve been avoiding Facebook because it not only never held that much for me to begin with, but all the political talk was driving me crazy. It’s nothing but politics, racism, and people I’d really rather not be reminded of. Therefore, I stopped checking my entire feed figuring it would only be the same old shit. I’ve even unfollowed some of my friends, but still consider them people that I care about. It could be a question of visibility issues as well. Sometimes the things we post don’t appear to others even if we have them set to.

Anyway, she’s young and strong so hopefully she’ll be on the mend soon enough.

I hope everything’s okay with my sister. I’ve been hearing less and less from her these days, but I understand that people do get busy and they do have off-line lives. Maybe she’s sick of Facebook for the same reasons I am. Since the surgery has helped her and she’s been recovering, she’s probably busy catching up on things she hasn’t been able to do for a long time. I’m sure we’ll check in with each other soon enough.

I have been doing great physically and emotionally with the exception of earaches almost every day within my fake canal. Since it’s been a problem since 2004, I don’t hold out much hope of it ever being resolved.

Tom said he’s sure it doesn’t have anything to do with him, but that he’s got to work 10-hour shifts this week because that’s what everybody else is working. So he believes in coincidences? I’m not sure I do, as yes, there are people out there that will spite a whole group of people just to target one person. Then again, he knows these people better than I do. I wasn’t there, so I couldn’t see their expression or hear their tone.

The new air cleaner is definitely more powerful and does a better job against rat odors. It was worth the $100. Volume-wise it’s about the same as the other one. Since I like to enjoy the peacefulness of nighttime, it’s powerful enough that I can leave it on medium instead of high, which you can barely hear. During the daytime when it’s sometimes noisy I prefer to play nature sounds or something like that to drown out background noise. With four rats, the old air cleaner wasn’t cutting it even on high, which also made it hard for me to hear my very soft-spoken husband.

JP showed up in my dreams last night for the first time in a long time. I wonder what that bitch is up to these days? :) I miss her at times.

In my dreams I casually wandered down a street, heading away from wherever she was. Eventually I realized I was a half hour away even if I walked back at a brisk pace. So I turned and hurried back even though I returned in just a minute.

She was talking to some guy who then came up behind me and pressed the front of his body against my backside. I could feel his facial stubble against my cheek and pretended not to notice, LOL.

JP then went downstairs, but it was a split-level, so I could still see her. I said I was going to go to the bathroom when the guy who pressed himself against me said I couldn’t go until I learned to pronounce the name of my new medication, whatever that was. He said the name of it and I said it would be impossible for me to learn how to pronounce it anytime soon.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

No More Ben & Jerry's

So Ben & Jerry’s ice cream has decided to back BLM. What a shame. I think it’s sad when people support hate groups that believe only their lives matter… even when they aim loaded weapons at the police. Seriously, WTF is wrong with this world? If a white man twirls a gun at a cop and gets shot, he had it coming. If a black man does the same thing and gets shot, it’s discrimination. WTF?

I’ll stick with Häagen-Dazs.

Did some Bowflex exercises and went walking with him earlier. I gotta switch to an inner route and stay away from the perimeters. I’m just so sick of dogs outside of the park startling/annoying me with their barking. So many people are so mean to both their neighbors and their dogs by not allowing them indoors if they don’t have to. I honestly think that’s why not as many people as I expected to in the park have dogs. They just don’t want to bring them indoors. This is one of the things I hate most about western living.

Getting a more powerful air cleaner to put by the rats. It’s a 22” tower cleaner that targets bacteria and odors in ways old-fashioned air cleaners don’t.

Tom’s decided he’s had enough with the unfair OT at work and is definitely going to put his foot down. He’s a kind, easygoing guy and they’ve taken advantage of him. It’s as simple as that. They tell everyone else no more OT, but he has to work 10 and 11-hour shifts. Well, fuck that. He’s only doing what OT the others are doing. Next week they plan on 9-hour days, so that’s what he’ll do and not a minute more. If they fire him, tough shit.

I’ve been unable to remember many of my dreams lately other than quick flashes of senseless whatever. All I remember was something about showering and knowing I would be on the road all day the next day. I didn’t want to get the floor wet, but water kept leaking outside of the shower.

Then I dreamed of carrying something heavy in a bag down the street. The bag started to tear and Tom said he’d give me a ride.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Glad My Family Escaped Matthew

My heart raced me awake for the first time in quite a while. It happened just an hour into my sleep. Fitbit clocked my HR as 118, but I wasn’t scared and it dropped in just a few minutes. I got up to pee, (was dreaming about rats and S), took a lorazepam and fell back asleep.

I was glad to learn that my family in Florida escaped Hurricane Matthew’s wrath. A part of me wished I was there. Storms are fun even if they can get a little bit scary at times. I just don’t care for them when they knock the power out or go waking me up. The storms where I live, however, are pretty wimpy and scarce.

We went on an evening walk earlier and both of us are looking forward to the weekend.

We’re having another warm spell, but then it’s to cool down and rain again.

Not doing much tonight. Just Netflix and listening to my audiobook.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Big Boss

I guess I'm not doing a very good job of updating this blog regularly. There just hasn't been anything new to update on and I find it pretty pointless to say, "The weather has been nice and I'm still alive." I prefer to have things to actually update on other than the trivial day to day things. I'll probably start doing longer entries less often unless anything comes up.

I'm not on Facebook much, not just due to the lack of privacy, but because I am so fucking sick of hearing about nothing but politics and racism. People really jump the gun when it comes to elections and holidays. A couple weeks beforehand is more appropriate to start getting obsessed about it if you're going to rather than almost a year in advance. I mean come on, there are a billion other things to talk about than just why you hate the person you don't want for president and the usual topics people love to glorify and blow out of proportion. Really wish Facebook had a keyword filter, but even if it did, there really isn't much for me to do there anyway. I never cared for the games there or anything like that.

I haven't been on other sites that much either. When I'm not working I'm spending a lot of time on my book or exercising. That is, when I have the energy. I still have fatigue here and there and that slows me down at times.

Anyway, my book is going well and is almost at 45K words.

They changed some things at work and he's continuing to have a lot of OT which is both good and bad. It's mad money but it's no life. He barely has time to eat and sleep, though we did go on a quick evening walk together.

Tomorrow the main boss is going to be taking a tour of where he works. The guy moved from Europe. He's a very wealthy guy. He bought a house in the area for $2 million and he paid in cash.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Going Helen Keller & Learning Russian

We had our first rain today. It was nice and it kept things quieter around here, the motorcycles in particular. Despite the rain, Tom managed to trim some trees on the property line.

Since I’m going Helen Keller we downsized me to an old 24” monitor. I’m going to miss the giant 32” monitor, but it’s too big to see from a distance and too big to pull closer to me. My 13” laptop is a bit too small, though. The only problem is that it’s too high for me, so we’re going to print a new stand on the 3D printer to lower it so I don’t have to tip my head back in order to see out of the lower part of my bifocals.

Since I’ve wanted to learn a language that uses a different lettering system, I enrolled in Duolingo’s Russian course yesterday. Whoa! I’m glad I’m not sleeping now with the boom of thunder I just heard. Anyway, some of the letters are like ours and some make the same sounds. Others make simple sounds, but what you see isn’t what you get, as is sometimes the case with German. Then there are sounds that are tougher to pronounce. I’ve noticed so far in just the few lessons I’ve taken that many words sound similar to English while they look different written out.

I think I can learn it, though I’m not going to take the language all that seriously. I think that just learning the basics would be enough for me. That way I can have a basic idea of what’s being said if I stumble across anything in Russian, but I have no desire to learn it well. Right now the only languages I want to get as good as I can in are Spanish, Italian and German. Just a general idea of Portuguese, French, Dutch, Esperanto and Russian is sufficient enough.

It was a tossup between Russian and Greek. I chose Russian because it’s more common than Greek.

A popular scam is going around where people will hack servers for people’s contact info and make it look like their friends are asking them for money or to buy whatever. My cousin let me know that she got several spam emails appearing to be from me. I changed passwords on Facebook and a couple email accounts as well.

Watched the latest Amanda Knox documentary and didn’t really learn anything new. I always thought she was as innocent as Casey Anthony is guilty. Italian laws are more screwed up than the US, though I’m sure part of the reason she got screwed is because she’s American and female. Based on what forensics they did have, it’s obvious that the black guy from the Ivory Coast did it. Is Italy like the US in that they’d rather pin shit on the white guy so that the black guy (guilty or not) doesn’t go crying racism, an accusation most judges prefer not to have to deal with?

Went to cash some checks at Raley’s and then to the dollar store. It’s fun to browse around there every now and then. I got some incense (the stuff is awful), lipstick and candy.

Just stopped to go over my eyeglass prescription. I already miss my big monitor AND my desk space. I have one of those deep corner desks, and having to pull the smaller monitor closer to me means I lose a lot of desk space behind it. Gonna order a pair of mid-range single visions and a pair of standard bifocal transitions. I thought round bifocals were standard, but apparently they’re not. Transitions also can’t be put in round ones, and I’m very sensitive to light, so those are a must.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Random eVents


It was 69° in here when I got up, so I turned the heat on to take the chill out. How I wish we could go to Maui and not come back till April! Or Florida.

Went to Walmart to pick up our glasses, and never again will we use them! They put the wrong prescription in the left side of Tom’s glasses and he had to return them, and while mine are adequate, I see fine through the upper part of the left side, but the upper part of the right side is a touch blurry.

Also, you don’t realize just how much transition lenses helps keep things from being too bright outdoors till you no longer have them. They just weren’t an option in round bifocals, but at least now I’m not “swimming.” I hated the dizzying effects of progressives and having to look through a precise spot within the lenses just to see a particular object. Gonna use the old progressives/transitions for outdoors only.

I was going to put Cappy in a smaller cage, but then realized that that would be ridiculous when half a dozen rats could easily occupy each of the two floors of the big cage. Being the bully that he is, Cappy’s upstairs while the other 3 are downstairs. This way, if anyone’s toes or tails gets nipped at through the rungs of the ramp that’s hooked to the underside of the upper level to separate the levels, it’ll be the bully’s. Been there almost 24 hours, though, and all is fine. They go nose to nose and sniff at each other through the bars, but that’s it. I’m amazed at how bad Simon wants to beat his ass since he’s the shyest of the rats.

We signed up for a rat bedding subscription to be delivered monthly. I also grabbed some other things they’ll need with the new setup… hammocks and wood chews.