Tuesday, January 31, 2017

New Management

Said hello to Bob yesterday who told me I was looking good. Sure feel good, too. I asked if Virginia sewed since my jeans could stand to be shortened a few inches, and he said no. I’m not surprised. I don’t think Virginia does much of anything, LOL, other than watch TV, but hey, the lady’s 84 years old. She’s entitled. Bob was out spraying weeds and then some old lady with a walker came by.

We’re now hitting the 60s for the first time this year. Late January is when it typically begins to slowly warm up here, though we are in for another round of rain soon enough.

Been feeling great and sleeping better. I know it won’t last, so I’m enjoying it while it does. Perimenopause symptoms love to attack in spurts.

Because I feel so good and have good energy I’ve been keeping both busy and active. I was barely halfway through my day yesterday when I’d already done at least a dozen things.

We don’t know why, but this place is now under new management by a new couple. Don’t know if they live here or not, though. Tom read that Melissa is still around training the new people, and I guess they’re replacing someone in the office, too. Did Melissa retire or is she moving?

Monday, January 30, 2017


I keep hoping I’ll be able to wake up one day and say to myself, “Oh, I get it! It all makes perfect sense now.”

But this continued support of terrorists makes absolutely zero sense. I don’t understand for the life of me why people feel so bad for the Syrian refugees when they’re the ones that brought on their own problems to begin with. They're the ones that chose to kill each other, so why should they expect others to pick up the pieces? Am I missing something here? If I went and burned all my clothes and then went crying to Tom that I had nothing to wear, should he be expected to feel sorry for me?

Perhaps I should feel a little sorry for the women and children that have nothing to do with it, but then I question just how innocent some of those women really are, and I really question just how innocent those kids will be in another 20 years or so from now. Everybody is so obsessed with political correctness that they have their heads buried in the sand and have chosen to blind themselves to the facts even though they’re staring them right in the face.

I also don’t get how this is supposed to equate to the Holocaust. Hitler killed millions of Jews, and while I’m no Trump fan, Trump is only trying to keep dangerous people out of the country, not kill them.

All the marching and protesting in the world isn’t going to stop Trump from doing whatever he’s going to do whether we like it or not. He’s in for the next 4-8 years and unfortunately, nothing is going to change that.

I had no idea, as all these marches and protests have shown, just how loved Muslims really are in this country. I knew that blacks and everybody else was. Well, except for gays, of course. I should have figured as much, though. If it’s “in” people are for it no matter what it is. If it were suddenly in to support rapists, then that’s what people would do. It’s sad that most people don’t have a mind of their own and are often blind to common sense.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Can't Think of a Title

The rats’ hanging enclosed bed finally arrived and it’s so cute. Took forever to get here, though.

Not much is happening lately. I’ve been feeling great and keeping busy. Going to the store later on.

I had a weird dream last night. I don’t know what state we were in, but Tammy was talking to some guy somewhere. The guy had these light glassy blue eyes. When I approached them he said he remembered me and asked if I remember him. I didn’t. He then said he was one of the paramedics that came to my studio apartment in Phoenix in the mid-90s when I had an asthma attack.

I was amazed he could remember this. I said, “Wow, and I was still a smoker then, too. I’m amazed you remember me. That was half a lifetime ago.”

Friday, January 27, 2017

Cold 😨

I don’t think they turned the water off yesterday liked they planned to do between 10am – 2pm. At 11:30, I could flush the toilet. Plus the pipes never spit out air. In case they do it today, showers, dishes and laundry will be done beforehand.

Even though it was 5° colder on tonight’s walk, it seemed warmer because it was dead calm. Last time it was so windy I could barely hear my music. But it was cold, so I was only out there for 15 minutes. I’ll make up the rest of the time on the Bowflex and skier. Trying to get a half hour 5 days a week to help my LDL score.

It’s been a cold winter. It’s almost like we’re being compensated for the extended summer we had. All this week we’re looking at highs in the 50s and lows in the 30s. I know it could be worse, but it’s bad enough. So glad it doesn’t snow here.

I hope to get more information when I see the GYN. I just don’t know if there’s anything she can do to help. I was just discouraged when Tammy and S told me they still have symptoms, though I appreciate their honesty. It’s really hard to picture S having panic attacks. I know she’s naturally calm, but in some ways, it’s almost like she’s too calm. It’s hard to even imagine her crying. She’s just so unemotional. Her sense of humor is a bit dry too, but I guess that’s just the type of person I’m drawn to. They have a calming effect on me.

I’ll miss her, but I think it’s best that I stay away. I know her door is always open to me, and believe me, I’ll go running through it if things get that bad again, but I really hope they won’t and that I’ll be able to cope with things better on my own using the tools I’ve been given.

I had a dream that Larry was alive and he was telling me he had 8 dogs. Then I was looking on my calendar for a date for us to meet somewhere for lunch or something like that. A bunch of dolls were stuck to the calendar and I had to pry them off. I threw them on the floor and said, “I really need to stop collecting dolls.”

Then I dreamed a tiger was racing towards me to attack me. I realized I was so dead. Just so damn dead. But then the tiger stopped right in front of me and I wrapped my hands around its neck to strangle the thing, as hopeless as I knew that would be, but it just stood there.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Less Facebook, More Adventures for the Adventurers

So I won an issue of a rat magazine based in Canada on Facebook, a site I now only use to check for messages. Sure enough, the top part of the newsfeed that I could see was Trump this, Trump that. So I said, fuck it. I’ve had enough of this shit with the Trump obsession. I didn’t even back scroll through the feed to catch up. If anyone needs to get ahold of me they can always message me.

“Doesn’t the thought of living in Florida and then Hawaii seem like a fun adventure?” I asked Tom last night.

I thought he would answer with something like, “I guess so,” meaning that if it’s what I want to do, no problem, he’ll go along with it, etc.

Instead, he answered with, “Yup.”

LOL, we’re both definite adventurers who don’t stay in one place too long. I just can’t imagine spending more than 10-15 years in the same place. Like I said, the world is too big to stay in one spot forever. We’ll probably end up being in this place for 11-15 years, which will be a record breaker for us.

It’s nice to have things to look forward to in the future, even at our ages, when so many things aren’t new and exciting anymore. I’ve been cruising, I’ve been to other countries, and I’ve had lots of fun and amazing experiences in my life since I never had kids. While that’s a good thing, it has a way of changing your perspective on things. I’ve never been to Europe yet, but if I were suddenly there, it wouldn’t be the big deal it would be if I’d never left the country before. So the thought of visiting Hawaii may not be new and exciting (I would still LOVE to vacation there), but the thought of actually living there sure is.

The only negative to Hawaii besides the costs that I thought of is the fact that it’s not a “kill” state. In other words, if you’re terminally ill they won’t help you end your suffering like they would if you were a dog or a cat. You just have to tough it out on your own until the end.

There’s this insanely loud silver car belonging to someone who recently moved in on the other side of the circle. They came and went 4 times between 10:30 last night and midnight. Not only was this incredibly annoying but suspicious as well. It will be interesting to see if they do this again tonight.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

If I Were a Politician

Made an appointment with an OB/GYN for February 23rd. Hope nothing bad turns up from that. I doubt it will, though my dreams will warn me the night before if there’s trouble ahead.

Went out jogging for a half hour. It was cold as hell even though I was bundled up. I started to warm up a little after 10 minutes or so, but my face and hands were still cold, even with gloves. To be honest, it’s a lot easier to run in the cold than heat or humidity.

They’re turning the water off for the millionth time for 4 hours on Thursday. As long as I’m not showering (and I know not to shower during the daytime as long as we live here) a few hours without water isn’t that big a deal. Epic levels of anxiety. That’s a big deal. Haven’t had any since the 10th and I’m enjoying every wonderfully calm moment.

Tom said he read a study that suggested that if you eat 12 calories for every pound you weigh, you’ll lose weight. This makes no sense. I can’t have much over 1200 cals if I’m going to lose weight. If you’re 230 pounds, for example, then you probably eat 2500 to 3000 cals a day to maintain that weight, and would probably need to bring it to 1400 to 1800 to lose. Not eat the 2700 cals they say you could have.

I’ve been feeling well, doing more, and sleeping better. Not sure how long it will last, but I’m enjoying it while it does. I just wish it wasn’t so damn cold. The rain finally stopped, though.

Spending less time on Facebook. I’m just sick of all the political shit. Someone asked me what I would do if I were suddenly in charge. Oh, not much that most people would agree with. Since I was asked… I would kick the illegals out and ban Muslims from entering the country. Is every single Muslim that you dare to disagree with going to chop your head off? Absolutely not. But there are way too many of them that believe violence is the way. It’s like comparing the poodle to the pit bull. Which one do you think is most likely to attack?

Then I would make the laws a little more sensible. For reasons I’ll never understand, violent crimes tend to get lighter sentences unless a child is involved. Well, no more sending the kiters to prison for 5 years while the wife beaters get just a few months if even that.

I would give this country real freedom of speech with the exception of direct threats. I would implement a little more restriction when it came to minors and the mentally challenged, though. Call most adults a fatty and as rude as that is most will just laugh. Say that to a child, and it really hurts. Same with an adult that might have the mental/emotional capacity of a 12-year-old. So there’s where I would get a little stricter.

As a “normal” adult, I believe in that old adage “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”

It’s true. No word could ever do the same harm a gun, a knife or a fist could.  Therefore I would not forbid racial slurs as I really don’t see that as being much different than swearing or calling someone some other name/insult/label. It’s all rude no matter how you package it, but just words, nonetheless.

There would also be no such thing as a hate crime. Violence is violence. Period. It doesn’t matter if you do it because of a person’s race, because the voices in your head told you to, or simply for shits and giggles.

I would also see to it that there was no more “protected class” because that’s playing favorites, in a sense. The cashier that just got his ass beat deserves the same justice as the cop that got his ass beat. That cop also deserves the same sentence the civilian gets. I can see protecting children and old folks, but regardless of why you attacked someone, you should receive the same punishment as everyone else.

I would take measures to make the world a more peaceful place to live. With today’s technology, loud motors belong on airplanes. Street vehicles don’t need to be so damn loud. Loud car stereos would be banned. Loud equipment and power tools (except for emergencies), would be banned one day during the week and one day during the weekend, so we didn’t have to hear these things every single day or close enough to it.

Women and gays would have the same rights as everybody else. Always.

Now here’s an example of what I mean about the world being too black-and-white. You have your adult communities and then you have your anything goes communities. There are gray areas in there that should be addressed and I think other types of communities can and should be created.

Lastly, letting kids be kids is one thing, but letting them be assholes is another. If parents aren’t going to teach their kids manners, respect and discipline, I think teachers should do so. There’s no reason or excuse for so many kids to be allowed to scream like animals in stores and restaurants like they do. If they’re not taught at a young age to consider those around them, then what kind of the adults are they going to be?

Nothing to Say

It’s been a few days since I made an entry, but I have nothing to say other than that things are running smoothly, the weather sucks, and I wish I were in Maui now.

Actually, I could bitch about my toothache. Yeah, my back lower molar is aching and I wonder if I should get into my dentist sooner or not.

I have to quit the protein cookies I’ve been having because the extra fiber in them is really hard on my stomach. I don’t think I’m going to lose any more weight, but that’s okay. I’m not that heavy right now. I just want to continue feeling as calm as I have for the last couple weeks.

S was in my dreams last night, but I don’t remember what she said or did. I just hope I never see her again as much as I’ll miss her.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Hotel Dreams

Nothing to update today but dreams. We sure are vacationing in hotels a lot lately in my dreams.

Only my travel mates kept changing. First I was with Tom. Then with loser Ron of all people. I’ll bet he’s the same minimum wage worker he was back then, working one job after another. Alone, too. Shame on me for settling the way I did back then, young, dumb and naïve or not. He was so wrong for me and I had not one single solitary ounce of attraction for the guy. He was fat, balding, and looked much older than 28. My neighbor at the time, Nancy, was thrilled when I finally threw him out.

So anyway, I was worried about something in the dream. It was nighttime and Baldilocks was getting into bed while I paced the room. He told me not to worry about it and pulled the covers over his head.

My last travel mate was S. It was weird because I passed out on the floor of our room, but was still semi-conscious. I heard her tell the paramedics that I was from California and that she lived 3000 miles away. I wondered if she moved back east.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Sears, Fire Hydrants & Fear for Our Country

The Sears guy came early within the time bracket he gave us to fix the hot water tank. It turns out that the thermocouple went out, so he replaced it. Between that part and labor, it came to $175. Tom saw how to take it apart to get at that part if it goes out on us again. He was going to order that part and do it himself, but the part couldn’t have gotten here till the end of the month. That’s why he called Sears. We may order one so we always have a backup on hand. They can last anywhere from 5-30 years. I’m just glad the guy had the part so we didn’t have to rent a room to shower. Then again, I’m sure Bob and Virginia, the Twenties, Geri, or someone else around here would’ve let us use their shower. Having not showered in two days, it felt great to take a nice hot shower once it had time to heat up.

So after I showered, got dressed and threw my hair in a braid, I took off running before the next band of rain. Of course, my hip is paying for it now. It still feels good to get out and run, but I did do some walking as well.

“You’re much too young to live here,” a guy walking his dog said along the way.

LOL, I never did look my age.

So I ran down along the main drag, around the curve, and around the next curve, and then I saw it. I stopped dead in my tracks looking for a way around it, but nope. No way. The water gushing from the fire hydrant was not only flooding the hell out of the street but the grass at the side as well. I would’ve practically had to go down to where the ditch is to get around it, so I decided to just double back.

Sure enough, the water was off when I got back, but not for long. I would have been so pissed if it had gone off while I was showering. It could’ve been a broken main that someone hit with their car or something instead of a hydrant, but with all the water gushing about I didn’t really get a good look at it. I would have gladly run through it if it were summer.

Some damn cock is annoying me right now gunning his motorcycle. I realized two things the other day. One is that if we still have so many loud vehicles despite today’s technology, this is the way it will always be. Also, if universal insurance still doesn’t exist in the US, then it never will. There’s absolutely no reason it can’t exist just like it exists in Canada, England and other places. It’s obviously not what most people want, though. I just hope we’ll be insured until he retires! Anyway, now that most of my so-called fellow Americans have chosen a hater over a liar, I am once again in fear of being uninsured if God forbid he was laid off. Then again, most people did vote for Hillary. I’ll never get that either. Shouldn’t the one with the most votes win? I’ll also never get why things have to be one way or another. Seriously, why do we have to live in such a black-and-white world? If you don’t want an abortion, don’t get one. Meanwhile, why should every single woman have to live based on what other people believe??? That’s like saying everybody else should be agnostic simply because I am. You want to believe in your grown-up version of Imaginary Friend? Fine. Just don’t try to push your fantasy on me.

I do still hope he gets assassinated, but I honestly don’t see it happening. Security is too tight, and if someone was going to take a shot at him, it would have been done by now. Why wait until he’s sworn in? I still think he has a much higher chance of something happening to him than Obama ever did. Most people don’t have a problem with blacks, but they sure do with those that do. So because he’s such a hater, I think he has more of a chance of being harmed or at least severely harassed.

But what is the point of the women going to march in DC? I don’t see how it could hurt, but how could it help? The guy hates women with a passion. So much so that I still find it hard to believe he’s not gay, in the closet/denial, and that his wife isn’t just for show. Come on, the guy’s 70. People his age don’t usually own up to their sexuality if they are gay. I don’t see how one can hate women that much and stand to be with one, so maybe his wife is just one of those rare exceptions? I can’t stand 90% of the male population yet I married a guy. A guy that certainly isn’t like most guys or else I’d be alone or with a woman.

Either way, this shitster’s sexuality is the least of my concerns. It’s how much worse he can make things for us that worries me. The fucker is against everything… women’s rights, gay rights, healthcare, climate change… everything. I hope he at least does some good while he’s busy fucking things up, like deport the illegals and keep Muslims from coming over here.

I found the perfect set of pots and pans, each in a different color and with clear covers, on Amazon for only $40. I would have thought that a clear cover would be worthless because of steam and fog, but we’ll find out when we get it. Maybe these things will encourage me to cook more. We won’t be able to use them if we ever get a flat top stove, but we doubt we’ll get one while we’re still here, so we’ll have plenty of time to get some use out of this “rainbow” set.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

The Storm Rages On

Caught a break in the rain to go running with Tom. Yes, with Tom on a weekday. That’s because our hot water tank is shot. We’re wondering if it has anything to do with the fierce storm we had last night, but we doubt it since the pilot is sealed up pretty well.

Tom started to take things apart, then was like, wait a minute. We have money. Why not use it and get someone out here?

So Sears will be out tomorrow. We’re thinking it’s probably the igniter that fires the pilot. The tank is relatively new and seems fine, so it probably just needs a new part or two and won’t cost more than $200, if even that. Of course, if we were broke it’d cost a lot more than that. This is one of those times when you kind of wish you rented rather than owned, so the expenses, big or small, wouldn’t be on you.

Last night’s storm was fierce and went on and on for over 12 hours. The wind and rain was kickass and we’ve actually got some standing water on the sides of the roads. Something you don’t see very often here. We’d have been without power for hours for sure if the power lines weren’t underground like they are here. My monitor did kick off a couple times, though, and the Echo Dot in the bedroom did once.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Here Comes the Rain... Again

The rain has returned. I wasn’t kidding when I said we’ve had more rain this year than in all the years we’ve been in this area. At least it keeps things quiet around here.

Still no anxiety since around the 10th, like I told my PCP. She said she’s requesting the GYN referral, keep my appointment in March, but come see her sooner if I need to.

I forgot to mention that when I told S my original plan was to throw her in a story, make her do all kinds of funny things, then eventually Facebook it to her, she got a kick out of it. Maybe I will surprise her with a little something someday, though I’m not sure what. Right now I have a few writing projects to keep me busy.

I had a series of long, detailed dreams last night, one of which wasn’t very good. First I was at the beach somewhere, then I was in a large conference room. There were several large tables in the room and maybe a few dozen people. I sat by myself at the end of one table writing in a notebook.

Then we were staying at some hotel. I went down to the front desk to extend our stay another day or two. The girl behind the desk resembled Amber, some bully I once ran into online years ago. She threw something in my direction that looked like a shiny silver needle, but it disappeared once it hit the floor.

“I can’t find what you threw at me,” I told her.

“Oh, really?” she said, gazing over the counter. “I was trying to give you this.”

“This” was a piece of paper saying that I was a suspect in an attempted murder investigation which I knew nothing about.

Knowing that our stay wouldn’t be extended, I returned to our room where I could hear Tom snoring, but couldn’t see him because he was napping behind a partition. My first thought was to tell him when he woke up, but then the dream ended with me realizing that I should wake him up so we could get the hell out of there, figuring that if I was a suspect, then the cops would probably show up at the hotel soon enough.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

My Favorite Caligirl

“If you could say anything to your mother right now, what would it be?” S asked me yesterday afternoon.

I thought about it but I honestly couldn’t come up with anything. During the first few years after she died, I vowed to get even if there was an afterlife in which we all meet up with those we knew in our earthly lives. I planned to return every kick, hit, slap and insult. But then I realized that if I did I would be just as bad as she was.

She was in my dreams again last night. Sort of. My dad actually delivered a message from her saying it was okay if I could never forgive her. Only I’m not sure if she meant that in an understanding kind of way or in an I-don’t-give-a-shit kind of way.

Anyway, my appointment with S went well. Guess that explains why I didn’t have any negative dreams the night before.

She was dressed in her usual colors of black and blue but looked very stylish. She had some shine within her bracelets to balance out the darkness. When I joked about how I would be sure to remember what she wore in reference to my impeccable memory, she said she wouldn’t forget my hose. LOL, yeah, my zebra patterned pantyhose do stand out.

I thanked her for caring to see me when I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. She said something like taking my letter seriously.

She asked if I thought I felt like I was missing out on being with a woman, and I assured her I wasn’t. I’d been with women before Tom, even if they were nothing like her or even RJ, and Tom’s definitely my number one and a definite one of a kind, no matter how many women I may like or be attracted to along the way. As I was telling someone else recently, a woman doesn’t love her first child any less when she has a second one. So no, my being attracted to others every now and then only means I’m human; not any less in love with Tom. No one’s attracted to just one person throughout their life, like it or not, and she understands this.

I told her I saved her messages cuz her voice is soothing if I want to hear it when Tom’s not around.

I told her about how we were tossing around the idea of doing both Florida and Hawaii (she’s been to Hawaii, but not Maui), and that she’ll always have a special place in my heart and be one of the definite highlights of Cali. Each state has its most memorable people/moments, and she’s definitely it for this state, LOL. As I told her, I don’t take helpful people for granted. I’d undo the anxiety in a heartbeat if I could, but I would never undo her. She laughed when I ended this with, “Nothing’s changed. I’ll still stick a foot out and trip anyone that gives you a hard time.”

The thing that had her laughing the hardest was Mary. There are 3 areas of the psychic world I tend to be good at for reasons I may never know. One only Tom knows about and that’s the way it stays. Then there are the dream premonitions, and then there’s the mood influencing which I told her about today. I explained how Tom discovered it in me and noticed it before I even did. After he pointed it out, I could see a pattern and realized his theory made sense. It’s not anything I can control any more than my dreams, but let’s just say you don’t want to piss me off, as I told her. LOL

Then I told her how Mary became afraid of me and hated to be around me cuz she knew that the more she’d piss me off with her insults, the sicker she’d get. Every time we’d meet at the casino, my growing animosity towards her would cause her to lose when she’d normally win, and then there were all the colds and sneezing fits. LOL. S got a kick out of the sneezing fits. It was so true, too. We’ll never forget that day she practically ran out of Harrah’s Casino on the Indian Reservation in Arizona screaming, “She’s making me lose!”



And oh, how I’d have fun taunting her and suggesting we get together at the casino so I could make her lose and sneeze, ROTFL!

I also told S about Jesse totaling his truck after pissing me off day after day, hour after hour, with his mutts, motorcycles and then adding the bulldozer to the mix.

“But good things should come your way,” I assured S, who said she’d gladly take that.

I told her about the memory and she too, doesn’t know what to make of it and couldn’t guess if it was a real memory or a dream I actually remember. Like she said, I may never know what, if anything, it means.

She asked if I wanted to schedule another appointment or call if I need her, and I decided to just keep her on reserve for now. I hope I don’t ever have to see her again, as much as I’ll miss our chats. I always knew that one day I’d walk out of her office for good, whether we kept in touch online or by phone or not.

I also reposted a new 5-star review on Yelp after deleting the other one.

We stopped at Raley’s on the way home, then I came home to a message asking me to call my PCP’s office. I was surprised. I guess my PCP wanted to see me sooner and to know if I wanted a GYN referral to help with my perimenopause. I could’ve seen my PCP in a couple days but opted to wait till our March appointment since I’m feeling better at the moment. Plus we’ll have lab results at that time anyway. I did take the referral offer, though, even though I despise female exams with a passion.

Monday, January 16, 2017

If You Can't Decide on Smart or Crazy, Do Both

Tom and I have never been the kind to stay in one place for too long. The world is too big to spend all our lives in one spot, or even 20-30 years of it in one spot.

California is my fifth state and his third. He’s from Arizona, has lived in Cali twice, and then of course Oregon. We’ve lived in these states together, and I started off in Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Where will we go when he retires in 6-10 years from now? Well, Florida would be smart while Hawaii would be crazy. Funny, but true.

Let’s talk smart first. Florida’s cheaper and I have family there. Understandably, I don’t expect to become close to my nieces in a way that makes us “good buddies” due to the age difference. What 20-something wants to hang with a 50-something? :)

But Tammy and I haven’t had much time together and when we last did we were younger, had a lot of growing up to do, and weren’t very close.

The thing about Florida that may not be so smart is all the humidity. I can’t know for sure how it may affect me, even though I’ve lived in humid climates before. This time, however, I won’t be a smoker, which should surely help. So all in all, Florida’s cheaper, warmer than NorCal, and I have family there.

Now let’s talk crazy, and I mean insanely crazy. That would be lush, colorful Maui with its perfect year-round climate and less of a hurricane risk, but that would cost a fortune probably even renting a dumpy apartment in the mainstream on the Big Island. We would definitely rent in Hawaii as opposed to owning, and that too, has its pros and cons. The landlord has to pay to fix anything that breaks, but that landlord can pester you all he wants if he lives a stone’s throw away from you. You also may be limited to color choices and what you can do with the place, depending on if it’s an individual or a company you’re renting from.

I felt so at home on Maui. It was definitely my spot on earth. So should we do both? And if so, which one would we start with, Florida or Hawaii? I’m thinking Hawaii may the best state to sign off in.

LOL, it’s too funny just thinking about it, but the idea certainly excites and appeals to me. I think first I oughta wait and see if I can just survive perimenopause long enough to get out of this state.

Seeing S in a couple hours. Excited, but a touch worried, even though I can stop seeing her anytime I want to. Ah, control. It’s something I haven’t had over most of my life, so I love it when I do. :)

Saturday, January 14, 2017

48 Hours

4” of rain is normal here for January, yet we’ve already gotten 7”, and there’s more to come in the middle of the week. I’m already sick of the rain, but it’ll stop the motorcycles once again. I’ve already heard them twice today. This is on top of cars and trucks that are too loud. I don’t understand why any vehicle needs to be so damn loud with today’s technology. I can see planes and semis, but regular cars, trucks, vans, SUVs and motorcycles? Then again, I don’t think I’ve heard a loud SUV as of yet.

Not surprisingly, I woke up hot flashing a few times. I still slept well enough, and this is day 5 where I’m anxiety-free. Ah, I could get used to this wonderful feeling! I love it when noise is my worst complaint in life. I was, however, a bit lightheaded today and yesterday, but after I ate it got better. Some days I don’t eat enough, not because I’m trying to avoid eating, but because I’m simply not hungry. I’m not one of those that eats when she’s not hungry. Tom is, but unless you put a lobster in front of me, I’d prefer to eat when I’m hungry.

We went to Raley’s earlier and picked up a few things. Now that I’m 6 weeks from labs… bye-bye cholesterol. No meat, cheese or eggs till March.

After we got back home, we ate, changed the rats’ cage, then went out walking. It was cold, but sunny.

I’ll be dying my hair tomorrow. The question is… do I want to do my nails today or tomorrow? I’ll probably do them today. I hate unpolished nails.

S’s now 48 hours a way. I’m a little nervous about that, but just a little. I’m mostly looking forward to our meeting. I just wonder if I’ll have any dreams about it or dreams that may hint at how our little get-together will go, either tonight or tomorrow night. Sometimes I don’t always know when a particular dream has meaning or is a sign of anything till certain things happen, but I think in this case I would know.

For now I’m just going to enjoy the weekend… missing my family and dreaming of Maui.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Careful What You Wish For

I got one of the things I wished for in my last entry… a period. So the last one was 3.5 months late and this one was a day early. It’s surprisingly cramp-free so far. I was slightly lightheaded earlier but after making myself eat a little more, I felt fine. I’m not even low on energy, though I am taking a day off from working out. That’s okay, I’m still getting plenty of exercise running around the house cleaning and doing laundry. Gotta order the groceries online as well.

I slept better last night. I seem to go back and forth, so I guess I might not sleep as well tonight. I’ve now gone over three days without anxiety. Just what did I do to get so lucky as to deserve that much? Think fewer evil thoughts?

This is the most sunshine I’ve seen here in about a week. I’m taking advantage of it to charge my solar keyboard. I just wish it wasn’t so cold out.

I’ve been a brunette for a while, so for variety, I’m going to dye my hair auburn brown. I can always brown it back out if I don’t like it. I wonder what S will think of it. I know I like someone when I wonder things like that whereas I normally don’t care what others think.