Sunday, February 5, 2017

A Year Ago

I keep telling myself that I really should write these entries and not rely on dictation due to all the typos it makes, but it gets addicting after a while. It’s just so fun and convenient to use.

Still feeling great. Lots of energy, sleeping better, and even had a funny dream, though I did wake up sweating once.

Walmart decided for the fourth time that we were new customers for online orders, haha, so this bag of freebies contained a small bag of chips and a small bag of granola, which I shared with the rats. There was also another small bottle of water and a tube of Vaseline lotion. I swear I have a lifetime supply of lotion! Got a couple more packets of Splenda, too.

Picked a great day for treasure hunting at Goodwill. Doll restoration, as you may know, is one of my hobbies. I got a couple of cute dolls for a total of $10.

Tammy and I were remembering that it was a year ago that we saw each other. We miss each other, and as I told her, we won’t let another 25 years go by without seeing each other this time. I appreciate and am grateful to those family members that care about me enough to include me in their lives, though I do wish I’d hear from Becky and Sarah a little more often. I do get the age difference thing, though.

As for those who have proven not to care, they can continue to stay away because they will never be forgiven. It isn’t a matter of forgiveness at this point, though. It’s a matter of me simply not giving a shit any more than they do. I’ll never admit to any wrongdoings I didn’t do just to make them happy, but I will and have admitted to what I actually was guilty of. But it’s all irrelevant in this day and age. I don’t forgive, neither do they, and this is the way it stays! :) I wish some of them luck, but they aren’t welcome in my life. I’m simply getting too old for any toxic drama.

So the funny dream was about being asked to sing for hundreds of people somewhere. I absentmindedly agreed at first without giving it much thought. Then I realized I didn’t have many songs memorized these days since I don’t sing regularly anymore. I tried to tell this to the lady that asked me to sing that night and she said, “Oh, no problem. I’ll just play CDs and you can lip sync. Then you can learn some fresh stuff and sing for real another time.”

Before I could point out that I could never sing for real since people would realize that I sounded a lot different from whoever’s stuff I was lip syncing that night, I was on stage trying to sync my lips to shit I’d never heard before.

“You’re a perfect 10!” someone told me after the “concert.”

“No, I’m not.” I wanted to tell them. “I’m only a 7 or 8. Swear it. I really am.”

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