Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Awaiting Execution


It's a good thing my dreams aren't coming true lately. First I had a dream that a cyber friend said she “had a problem,” but fortunately she’s ok.

Then last night I dreamed I was about to be executed. I don't know what I did, but I don’t think I killed anyone. I wasn’t even in jail. I was staying in what looked like a hotel. No one was guarding me so I don’t know why I wasn’t running.

In the dream, I awoke with sadness one morning because I knew that would be the last time I went to sleep and woke up. But then I remembered that it was Friday and I wasn't supposed to be executed until Monday. I was also depressed to see that Tom wasn’t in the room when I woke up.

I wanted to get some soda before I was killed, but I wasn’t able to eat or drink.

My mother was alive, and even though she didn't look like my mother, she was worried that she was going to be sued. I knew it was somehow connected to me too, and I burst into tears, saying I never should have been born.

Then I smashed some small electronic box that was making this annoying hissing sound. I figured people would understand with my nerves being so frayed since I was about to die.

After awaiting “execution,” I enjoyed a nice walk. I beat my last time by two minutes, so I'm going to have to add more distance by covering the entire perimeter of the park. The last few times I covered about two-thirds of the perimeter. So it was almost a full perimeter walk. Mixed with running, of course. I should charge my Fitbit and wear it when I go out so I can get my actual time. 30 minutes is essential to lowering my LDL scores since I’m not going to do it through weight-loss. I’m only a few pounds away from hitting a new low, but it’s unlikely to happen unless I’m sick or anxious, and of course, I would rather feel good and keep the weight.

I wore one of my new tank tops. It looked great standing up. Sitting down it displayed all my front and back rolls beautifully, LOL. Well, at 51 they ain't going anywhere. So I went out in that, plus my tights, plus my hoodie and gloves. By the time I got to where I could see the front gate I had to unzip my hoodie. By the time I passed the RV’s I had to lose my gloves. By the time I was just a few minutes from the house I had to take off my hoodie altogether. So what if anyone glanced out the window to wonder why anyone in their right minds would be walking around sleeveless in Northern California in the winter, haha.

I heard some twigs snapping down in the wooded area where the ditch is as I was approaching the front gate. Probably just a cat, possum or skunk, but I quickly got away from there just in case.

I also dreamed that I went to see a visibly pregnant PCP who was sitting in a chair connected to a bunch of tubes and wires. She smiled and said, “I'm on a full panel.” I knew this had to do with her pregnancy somehow.

In the last dream, I was in some building trying to find my way out of it. Nervous suddenly appeared while we were on this balcony of sorts that extended over the lower part of the building.

I pointed to the diarrhea brown walls and said, “Isn't that such an ugly color?”

Then I slipped out the back door, noticed some guy appeared to be after me and went back inside. Only instead of opening a door and stepping into a room or hallway, the door not only seemed to weigh a ton and take all my strength to open, but inside was a maze. The spaces got tighter and tighter the further into it I went, and I figured it had been created decades ago when most people were thinner.

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