Friday, March 3, 2017

Declined Surgery


“Hi, Jodi!”

I glanced across the street as I was dumping trash and saw Jon spraying weeds. I returned the greeting and we chatted for a few minutes.

I’m back to sleeping shitty again. I woke up four hours after crashing and couldn’t get back to sleep without a lorazepam. I tend to do this before appointments. I don’t know why. I know my PCP and dentist well and I have nothing to be scared of. White coat syndrome, I guess.

I was a little tired when I got up four hours later from a very interesting dream in which I’ll write about later, but I sprang to life soon enough.

The GYN confirmed online that I shouldn’t have drowsiness or a dry mouth from the steroid ointment, and to be honest, I’ve continued using this stuff since I messaged her with no problem. She said you would have to use a lot of it in order to experience major side effects from adrenal suppression, whatever the hell that means (I don’t want to know). I probably just had a paranoid moment. The old medication phobia.

My PAP was normal, as expected, but when the nurse called with my surgery referral, I decided to decline for now. I have too many other appointments to deal with right now, which I’m still trying to cut down, and I’m still not sure it’s worth putting myself out for anyway. I just want to get my PCP down to every six months like my ENT is, and take care of whatever dental work I need. If I can get down to just two PCP appointments, two ENT appointments, and two dental checkups along with one eye exam, that would be great. My ENT might soon think once a year is enough.

The biggest thing is going more than a few months without anxiety. I would really rather miss S than have to go running to her. Unfortunately I’ve gotten good and experienced with anxiety, however, that I might not necessarily need to see her though I may want to if I get anxious again.

Going to the lab tomorrow. To be tested is my thyroid and cholesterol, but I’m not sure about my hormones. She may test my estrogen levels. They focus mostly on lipid and metabolism, though. I’ll be going shortly after I get up so I don’t have to starve and fuck my metabolism up even more.

When he starts his new position on Monday, he’ll be starting off working from 6:30 - 2:30, but may eventually be bumped up to 9:30 - 5:30.

I went out running for a half hour during the last of the direct sunlight. As I may have said before, the cherry and apple trees started blooming a few weeks ago, and now the leafy trees are starting to bud. But there’s also this nasty smelling thing that grows around here that starts giving off its smell at this time year, and I have no idea what it is. Looking forward to smelling with jasmine, though.

Last night I dyed my hair dark mahogany brown and it looks sooooo much better than the red. There are hints of a rusty color on top, though. Maybe I should have taken someone’s suggestion and gone with black. Black covers everything. But I look kind of witchy with black hair cuz of my pale skin.

The one vehicle I have gotten to know the sound of very well since living with old people is the sound of fire trucks. One was called to Jim’s house again. At least I think it’s Jim’s house. It could be the one next to his. No one was taken out, though, and they weren’t there long.

I lost interest in the series Twisted due to lack of action, so now I’m trying American Crime.

No comments:

Post a Comment