Saturday, April 29, 2017

Acupuncture & Personal Reflections


It’s so nice to take a day off every now and then and just nap, relax, and not do much of anything, especially when I’m tired. My head still feels a little funny like when you have a cold and I’m not sure if my good ear is blocked or if I suddenly lost some hearing. I can’t be that deaf, though. I can hear traffic on the freeway and the air cleaner running.

As I was lying around vegging out, I was thinking back to my childhood. The TV shows I was into during the 70s, the disco music that was a big thing, the places I went, teachers, classmates, friends, family, etc. When I think back to that person who lived that life it just seems like a whole ‘nother person from a whole ‘nother life. My life is so very different now. I’m so different. And fortunately, almost no one that was in my life then is still in it.

I wouldn’t trade this life to return to that life for anything. The only things I miss from those days is my false sense of security, the way I lived more in the moment and didn’t worry so much about the future, some things being new and exciting, and believing that adults really knew it all. Being naïve enough to believe that as long as I exercised basic common sense, nothing could ever hurt me because all I needed to do was run to an adult, abusive or not, and they would have all the answers and could fix anything.

But what about being naïve as an adult? Is that really a good thing? Now, this isn’t meant to try to change or influence anyone in any way, but just me speaking my own personal opinion. I’ve heard some people say that they were going to give their lives and all their problems over to God. Even if there was a God, isn’t that being a cop out in a sense? Obviously, we can’t have everything we want in life, but shouldn’t our lives, at least for the most part, be up to us? Also, while circumstances beyond our control may arise from time to time, shouldn’t it be our responsibility to deal with it as best we can? Giving up to an entity that may not exist just doesn’t seem smart.

Neither is it to say that if God leads us to it He’ll get us through it. Again, just my personal opinion. I read a horrifying article several years ago about two teenage girls on their way to school. One morning they decided to take a shortcut through the woods because they were late. There they met with three or four guys that raped and murdered them. My point? God lead them to it but He did not get them through it.

I get that many people have the fierce need to believe certain things and will often tell themselves whatever as a way of getting through life, but I think we should be the ones in the driver’s seat of our lives whenever possible, and keep in mind none of us are invincible. We’re all going to be given more than we can handle one day and we’re all going to die. For some of us, this may happen much sooner than we expect it to.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers and I’m more of a seeing-is-believing type of person. I doubt I would believe in psychics if I hadn’t had numerous dream premonitions along with a few other things. And maybe I would believe in ghosts if I actually saw one. I would prefer not to, though, as I would think that would be a little freaky, maybe even scary. Just because I can’t see it, though, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, which I get. I just think some things aren’t as likely as a lot of people think they are.

One thing is for sure and that’s that I never would have believed that tapping could help with anxiety. Seeing how effective EFT has been for me and countless others, I decided to see if there was anything for suppressing hunger and found this a video on reflexology. I can’t say that it stamps out hunger completely, but it definitely seems to dull it and take the edge off it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

House, Hair, Labs & Cat

My throat is better today than it was yesterday. Yesterday it was hard to talk without my voice cutting off or a coughing fit ensuing.

Tom’s lab numbers are great. His TSH is 1.something. He saw his doctor today and everything was great except for wax buildup in his ears. The doctor offered to clean it out for him but he said he would take care of it himself, knowing they would probably charge $200 just to do it and that it would probably hurt like hell. We have an earwax removal kit. He was also down 6 pounds.

We went on a 15-minute walk (I had already been on the skier for 15 minutes), partly to verify where that loud car lives that we suspect is owned by someone too young to live here and that isn’t the caretaker. It turns out that it is at the house I suspected it was at, but the great thing is that the houses up for sale. Yes!!! The sign said, “newly listed.” I just hope I’m not replaced with someone moving in with a car that’s just as loud or a motorcycle.

I wonder if they got complained on… kids living there, dogs allowed to bust out loose through a doggy door, and now this guy. Why live in a retirement community if you want to live like you’re in the mainstream?

The only other thing that’s been running around loose here, though I don’t mind since it’s not noisy or destructive in any way, is a tuxedo cat. It was curled up in the grassy area between our property and next door’s when I stepped out to pull the packages in. It appears healthy, so I doubt it’s a stray.

Temps are going to be climbing into the 80s so it’s time to switch the bedroom and bathroom vents. We close the bedroom one in the winter and open it wide in the bathroom, then do just the opposite in the summer. Oh, the motorcycles and car stereos we're going to hear on the freeway at night!

Between age, perimenopause and Hashimoto's, my hair has thinned out a bit and I got this special shampoo on Amazon. So far the new shampoo seems to be preventing my hair from falling out as much, but it dries my hair a bit and makes it harder to brush through, even with the detangling brush. It will be interesting to see if I get new hair growth or if it just slows down hair loss.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

People I'd Rather Not Remember or Discuss


Believe it or not, I feel like I have another cold. Either that or I relapsed back into my old one. I’m run down, my throat is scratchy, and I’m a little congested.

Even though I’ve been wonderfully anxiety-free, the one thing I'm not looking forward to when I see the new shrink is having to start all over again discussing my childhood and parents. It isn't that I'm unable to do so. Hell, I've written a bio about it and I've discussed it so many times to the point where it doesn't invoke the emotions it would 25 years ago and I've desensitized myself to it in a sense, but it's just so in the past, you know? Like watching the same movie over and over and over again. It isn’t that I can’t bear to remember or talk about them; it’s that I just don’t want to. What happened has happened and I accept that and that it can't be changed or undone in any way. That doesn't mean it was okay or that what I went through was good in any way, it's just that I don't care to discuss anyone I was wronged or abused by in any way, dead or alive. I prefer to move on and focus on those who are a positive or at least a neutral influence on my life, and this doesn’t only extend to my parents.

Memories of my parents will pop into mind at random, unbidden. They will also come to me in my dreams and there's nothing I can do about that, but I don't want to focus on them or anyone else who was abusive or negative because I'm to the point where it would actually be more counterproductive than therapeutic if I continued to discuss and dwell on certain people. I'm not the person I was when I last saw my folks in the 90s, and well, the past is the past. Today I’m surrounded by loving, accepting, positive people and that’s what I choose to focus on. I don’t want to remember how dad said this or how mom did that. It’s history.

I dreamed I met Trump somewhere and he invited me to the “Harrisburg House” for Thanksgiving dinner. I told him I didn’t drive and was hoping he would offer to have me picked up, not because I supported him but because I was simply curious, but he didn’t. He didn’t seem to get the driving phobia thing and was bordering on his typical judgmental self.

Then I met with him and his wife at some restaurant. When his wife went to use the bathroom he “kindly” suggested I didn’t have to do the scheduled phone reports he wanted me to do, obviously not liking me for the job. Glad he brought it up, but figuring that if he didn’t get the driving phobia then he certainly wouldn’t get a sleep disorder, I decided to use something more tangible as an excuse to get out of something I didn’t want to do to begin with. So I showed him my bad ear and said I couldn’t hear well enough for phone conversations anyway.

Not at all surprisingly, he made a grossed out sound at the sight of it. He was so disgusted that he was about to cancel dinner and have us all go home, but I talked him into staying because I was hungry and he was paying for it, LOL.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Prosebox Tech Issues


Prosebox is having some serious tech issues, so I’m going to return to updating Blogger regularly and sharing that to Facebook.

Tom and I watch shows, some the same, some different, on Netflix and Amazon. I just finished Rectify, and then Tom recommended Bosch on Amazon. Glad he did too, as I loved the books Michael Connelly wrote that inspired the series!

We trimmed some trees and blew twigs off the patio roof, and while he was at it, Tom accidentally started the car. The keys with the remote were in his pocket, LOL. It shuts itself off after 10 minutes, but he shut it off right away.

Said hello to Bob and Virginia who were seeing what looked like their DIL off after a visit.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

New Shorts


We both slept well and long last night and woke up feeling much more refreshed. He always catches up on his sleep on weekends. He went to the lab early in the morning and they were jam-packed. He had to wait over an hour, and then the girl had trouble finding his veins because his blood pressure medication thins them out.

We’re both just about 100% recovered from our colds. Just a little leftover congestion. That was quite a cold! Really thought I’d be better in a few days, not just over a week. Hopefully, it will be well over a year before we’re sick again.

As for the really loud car I’ve mentioned before… it looks like it could be someone staying at the house where the kids have been known to live (gee, what a surprise), and if that’s the case I want to report them. I never reported the kids because they didn’t affect me since they’re on the other side of the circle, but this insanely loud car has woken me up enough. Why do these people live here if they want to let their dog run loose and have underage people living here? It’s probably the boyfriend of the daughter.

I heard it leave last night for its third time out at about 9:30 and thought, “Shit, now I have to wait till it comes back before I can go to sleep.” But I fell asleep and it managed to return without waking me up.

First I need to see what I can learn without giving myself away. I don’t want to be reporting them if God forbid they’re a lot older than they look or if they’re a caretaker. If I do end up reporting them, it’s going to be done anonymously. I learned years ago how people can be if you complain about them, no matter how legit your complaint may be.

Tom was joking about how many people must think I’m underage, haha. I have had people ask me that, too.

Went to Target and grabbed a few pairs of shorts. I needed new styles and a better fit. I’ve had a lifetime supply of athletic shorts, but no decent regular shorts. Got a pair in bold pink, light denim, and a pair that looks black in dim light while bordering on navy in bright light. The waists are lower cut and the legs are shorter as opposed to the ones that go almost to the knees. To me, they’re not really “shorts” if they go to the knees.

We were out in front of the house deciding what trees by the master bedroom to trim. There’s a rose bush and then something else that we’re going to trim, then he’s going to blow off the patio roof, and hopefully, that will deter woodpeckers, though I didn’t hear anything yesterday. It may not be seeds they’re after, but maybe twigs for nesting. That’s why we’re going to keep things below the patio roof; to lower the chances of things blowing onto it.

Other than winning CampNaNo, I don’t have any other real plans for the day. Just doing a load of laundry and kicking back with my writing, audiobooks and Netflix.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

On the Mend


My congestion and sneezing stopped yesterday and I am definitely on the mend. Still tired, though. I only slept a little bit better last night.

I had to do some exercising because my lower back was aching as it usually does when I don’t exercise. Even though I get knocked off track every other week with the exercise because I’m tired so much of the time, I just can’t afford to stop altogether or else I’ll have all kinds of problems with my joints and more.

Rather than lower my weights, I did fewer reps. I didn’t want to push it. I think I did too much the day before yesterday and that’s part of why I felt so shitty yesterday.

Got up early, took a bath with a Love Me bath bomb, and polished my nails. Magenta glitter on the toes, neon pink on the fingers. Then I did some computer work and I’m already starting to burn out a bit. I think I’ll go lay down before I work on my story.

The only dream I remember from last night was sitting in a car with Tammy. She was sitting in the driver’s seat smoking a cigarette and I was sitting directly behind her, encouraging her to quit (she really did quit for real).

Then I got out of the car saying I wanted to go brush my hair, haha. Speaking of that, I think it needs to be trimmed and re-layered. Maybe I’ll have that done this weekend without taking any length off of it. It’s been six months since my last trim.

Tom has to go to the lab this weekend and we have to pick up prescriptions for losartan and levothyroxine.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Day 5


Because I rarely get sick this cold has been hard on me. Day 5 and I’m still congested and sneezing. My eyes were watering earlier to the point that it looked like I’d been crying for hours. My diaphragm muscles are sore from sneezing and coughing.

Anything is better than anxiety, but I’m more than ready to get better! It’s boring just lying around doing close to nothing, but I have little energy to do much else. I did figure out how to get Alexa’s loop mode on, but I haven’t worked on my story much.

My camera’s battery died and we ordered a new one, plus a charger.

Not much else going on. It’s going to be a rainy day in the upper 60s, and that’s about it for now.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Day 4


My Dumbo ratty hurt his foot somehow. I noticed him limping around earlier. It seems to be his back right foot, though it looks fine when I looked at it. I don’t see any cuts or swelling or anything, but I’ll keep a close eye on him.

I was telling Tom the other day how much I wish we had a lanai like Tammy has where I could enjoy the outdoors when it was warm enough, but without the bees picking on me. What we might eventually do is wrap some screen around part of the patio and support posts, and then have one of those magnetic screen doors where the magnetized flaps close as you go through it. We don’t want to block the front door, of course, so we’re thinking we would go just beyond that on down to the bedroom. It’s nothing that’s in our immediate future, though, because we still have to deal with the roof this summer.

Still feeling run down, sniffly and sneezy, so I’m taking breaks in between doing this and that. It’s easy to think you’ll be over a cold in just a few days when you’re fit and healthy, and then you remember that they do say they last 7-10 days for a reason. Well, I’m on day 4.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Not Fully Recovered



I’m not fully recovered yet, but I can only stand to lie around in bed so much. This is the longest I’ve gone without working out in quite a while, and I don’t think I’m going to return to it this time. I know I could be asking for joint, muscle and health issues, not to mention weight-gain that I can’t get back off, but I’m tired of this sometimes I can work out/sometimes I can’t routine. Some things I prefer to be more consistent with. Most of the time I’m simply too tired to work out. I just don’t have the energy I used to have, especially in a place where I sleep so poorly half the time. Once I hit menopause and we’re living on a quieter street, then maybe I’ll consider regular workouts again. Traffic didn’t wake me up last time around, but a coughing fit sure did. I had to get up and shoot a liquid cough drop in my throat.



I was mentally comparing this place with the house we rented in Oregon, and yeah, we had car stereos and delivery trucks, but there just weren’t nearly as many loud vehicles there. There were no motorcycles and every other car and truck didn’t sound like a fucking semi. That, along with the road being closer to the house, is why it’s so much worse here for sleeping.



Anyway, I got over the worst of the sore throat yesterday, but my head is stopped up and I’m really drained. Yesterday I was coughing like crazy but that’s gotten better. Right now I mostly feel run down, but not sick enough to take a cold pill. Yesterday I skipped my thyroid meds, not because I felt jittery or anxious, but so I could go straight for the food and cold pills. Except for things like ibuprofen, if you take vitamins, antacids or other pills within four hours of thyroid meds, it will render the thyroid meds useless. Skipping a day here and there isn’t dangerous any more than skipping a few months would be in my case. It’s if I went years that I would be in trouble.

For the next 2-3 days, I’m going to be basically on bed rest, as boring as it is. My mind thinks of all the things I’d like to do, but my body just isn’t interested. Thank goodness for Tom. He picked up the groceries and did some of the laundry.

Other than being sick for the first time in over a year, things are good. Slow, cold, wet, but good. I’ll even still win NaNoWriMo since I set my word count goal ridiculously low at 10K. That may be like 100K to most people, but I could practically write 10K in my sleep. Hell, I’m a writer. It’s what we do.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Officially Sick


I want to take a moment to thank my wonderful husband for getting me sick. Yeah, it's official. The cold I thought I escaped gripped me by the throat rather fast and furiously yesterday. I see what he means when he describes the sore throat on a scale of 1 to 10 as being a 7. Sometimes it feels more like an 8 or 9, though. No wonder I was so run down yesterday and why I felt a touch weak and tight in the lungs. My back and neck are a bit achy now. So for the millionth time, my workouts will be interfered with.

I was also mistaken when I said that the last time I was sick was in 2012. I was actually sick in January of last year. Either way, it started with a really sore throat for him and then he had coughing and congestion. I suppose that's next for me. :-( Thankfully I work at home.

I did have to uninstall Social Fixer after all. Wouldn't let me comment on posts, including my own. Oh well. Like I said before, I don't use Facebook much anyway. I like that we can choose colored backgrounds on short posts, though, so I posted that I was sick. I’m sure the same people will comments on it, too.

The only dream I remember had to do with me filling an aquarium of some kind, first with tap water, and then I went and got pool water for some reason, wearing a bikini the whole time, LOL.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Uninstall?

One of my nieces got a job promotion. Good for her!

Meanwhile, I can once again post to my Facebook wall but I can’t comment on other people’s posts or things they post to my wall. I tell you one of these days I am seriously going to deactivate there! I’m so sick of the glitches and lack of privacy. I just hate to make others feel abandoned and this is why I’ve kept the account this long.

I may have to uninstall Social Fixer. I'm not sure yet. It was great to have the filter, but I can just unfollow those who get a little too repetitious for my tastes. Plus I’m only there once a day to check for messages and I only see what’s on top of the feed when I do check in. Had Tammy not been on top I would have missed the post about the promotion. When I sent her my last message there Messenger was down, so she probably didn’t get it and maybe not even the email I sent. I send weird things a lot of the time, including graphics, and some of it may get marked as spam.

It’s raining again, so I’m not going out running tonight. It’s Bowflex night anyway. I see it’s to rain Sunday, too. Good. That’s prime motorcycle day, so it will be nice to get a break from that.

Tons cold is getting better. He worked a little overtime yesterday to grab an extra hundred bucks to make up for the day he lost.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Social Fixer

Help! Anyone having trouble posting to their Facebook wall today? I sent three people messages that don't appear to have seen them let alone replied, although I did test Messager on a few other people that saw and replied to my messages. However, I can't post to my Facebook wall. Tom can't even post on his Facebook wall either. I can comment on other people's posts, but not post to my wall. I don’t think it has to do with Social Fixer, which a PBer recommended, because I was able to post after installing it this morning. I only have it in Safari and not FF, yet I can’t post when I bring Facebook up in FF either.

Social Fixer is awesome! It does much more than just filter names and words you’re sick of. You can block trending news and do other things as well. I’m grateful to the person that recommended it. :-) I’ll never be an avid Facebook user regardless, but when I do check in for messages it will be nice not to have to see the same old shit I’m beyond sick of every time I land on the newsfeed, which I no longer bother to scroll through. I see what happens to be at the top of the feed and that’s it. People have proven to be repetitious by nature, as I myself can be, so there’s really no need to keep tabs on everything they post because I pretty much know them well enough to know what they’re going to post. Also, I was never into their games, so there really isn’t much to do there since one can only update their status and check in with others so often.

I went on a 15-minute walk, even though I know it should have been longer. I didn’t want to venture too far in case one of the nastier looking clouds decided to open up on me. It wasn’t dark yet but it was getting there. Some people were out walking their dogs.

The Twenties still aren’t around, but someone’s been in their house. Last night one of the bedroom lights was on and tonight it’s off. I hope nothings wrong with them. They’re nice people and good neighbors and I would hate to lose them for someone with dogs and motorcycles.

Tom was too sick to go to work today so he spent the day in bed. He was saying how he was spoiled by not getting many colds. Therefore, getting this cold really hit him hard. I get sick even less often, so I get what he’s saying. I haven’t been sick in years. I think the last time I was really sick was in 2012.

**UPDATE**:

I can now post to my wall again. I swear I was just about to deactivate, LOL. Messenger seems to be up and running again as well.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Thanks

I wish we could mute words/names on Facebook like we can on Twitter. I also wish we could comment privately on Facebook if we wanted like we can here. Facebook is so all or nothing. That's why I'm not there much. Really, do they want it to be easy to accidentally message the wrong person there?

I hit the Bowflex for a while and then I went out running. I love running after dark when there are less traffic and no landscaping noise to spoil the peace. There were just a couple of dog walkers.

Those earbud microphones really annoy me at times, though. I hear people talking as I approach them yet I can’t see the earbuds right away, so I think they’re talking to me.

Some people are already putting out their bulk trash that’s to be picked up on the 12th. We’re getting rid of the old mattress they left here, plus some other stuff.

Have some anxiety last night, but I’m fine today. Tom isn’t, though. He now has a full-blown cold. We’re pretty sure we got it at the same time, but with my kick-ass immune system, my body killed it like it usually does. It isn’t that I can’t get sick. I can. It’s just very rare.

Lastly, I want to thank those of you that have been there for me and have read me for months and even years. I always appreciate you keeping in touch and I have found much of your feedback to be very enlightening and inspiring. It's nice to know people care. So... Thanks!

Rusty Nail

Decided once again to update Blogger in chunks and not use it every day. It'll be a backup instead. It's still much easier to manage one blog. Especially if I later catch a typo. It's easier to correct one blog rather than two or more. I know some people on Facebook liked the pictures I'd enclose with my Blogger links, but I'll make sure to change profile pics on PB regularly. They'll just be smaller. For any non-Proseboxers that may not know this... If you click on my avatar, it will not only make it a little larger, but show all my public books as well. Unfortunately outsiders can't leave anonymous notes, so say hello every now and then wherever I share this link and let me know you're reading, especially since I rarely check my visitor list anymore because the site is such a pain to log into. When it works properly, that is. It tried to tell me I was in Reno the other day.

I also decided to take a day off from my CampNaNo project. I'm way ahead of my goal and I only need about 3500 more words to validate my story, which can't be done till the twentieth anyway. It's good to take a break every now and then, so right now I think I will go relax with a good audiobook. I'm listening to Rusty Nail right now. It's a good murder mystery if you like that kind of thing.

Then maybe I'll polish my nails. :-)

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Wrapping up the Weekend


Burke and Dumbo are enjoying their freedom while I write. One’s climbing the Bowflex while the other climbs the bookcase. Simon, as usual, prefers the comfort of home.

Slept pretty shitty. There was a power failure, but surprisingly enough, it didn’t wake me up as the sound machine automatically shut off. This is because, as Tom later told me, the power was only out for a few seconds, so the fan in air cleaner would have resumed right away, masking some sounds.

An hour later I woke up to pee and I knew something was wrong. It took my brain a few seconds to realize the power had been off because the sound machine doesn’t come back on with the power. It has to manually be turned back on. Traffic wakes me up with or without it, and it did… twice. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I am so fucking sick of this traffic! Never again will I sleep so close to a busy street!

And oh, the nightmares. I can’t understand for the life of me why I have so many negative dreams. Everything in my life is going great. The only bad thing going on right now besides Tom injuring his back is that he has a really bad sore throat today. He doesn’t feel like he has a cold, though. He doesn’t have any fever, body aches or congestion. I knew something was up with him because the only time he’s not quiet is in the car. But he hardly said a word when we were out earlier, slowed down by slow drivers, as always.

Anyway, knowing that these big old boobies aren’t going to be going on no shrinkathon anytime soon, I decided they should have a slightly bigger and more comfortable cage. So I’m waiting on a couple of new black and gray sports bras direct from Champion. Would’ve preferred something more colorful, but that’s all they had for these crisscross cami bras, along with white.

Decided to get a few treats while ordering the groceries, and one of those treats included Bodycology’s Sweet Love body mist. It’s lovely but smells an awful lot like a couple other body mists I already have.

I also got Violet Volt lipstick. It’s a little dark, but still nice.

So glad to have my Herbal Essence shampoo back instead of that TRESemme crap. I ran out of Herbal Essence so I used it as a backup. Definitely not good for oily scalps. The stuff feels heavy and greasy and doesn’t quite leave my scalp feeling clean.

No matter how much money we do or don’t have, it’s always nice to go to the dollar store every now and then, and we did this afternoon. Except for with pots and pans that you don’t want to scratch, I hate plastic utensils as opposed to metal ones because the plastic ones bend so easily. So I got a few metal ones, along with some pretty and colorful potholders to replace the ones we’ve had for nearly 20 years, plus an oven mitt. I also got a square rainbow wind spinner, and a colorful peacock with a hot pink bell dangling from it. $7 well spent.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Tom's on a Losing Streak


Tom lost 4.5 pounds after week one of his diet where he has 100 cals every hour, plus one small meal. I’d try it myself with 75 cals an hour and a meal, but as he pointed out, he has 50-70 pounds to lose, not 30. So it’s not likely to work for me in the same way. It’d probably just mess my metabolism up some more, and guys always lose weight easier than women anyway. So I just keep doing what I have been doing… making sure I don’t gain. I keep active and go easy on the sugar, pasta and breads. Taking the day off from exercising today, though. It’s unseasonably cool and we’re still getting down in the 40s at night.

Tom injured his sciatic nerve again, but together we managed to change the rats’ cage. This deluxe $200 mansion of theirs is a bitch to keep up. Just so much work, but it's gotta be done.

Other than this we're just relaxing today. I think right now I'll go make some Skinny Girl popcorn (good tasting, good amount for 160 cals) and watch my show, Rectify.

Friday, April 7, 2017

The Calm After the Final Storm


After being on the go nonstop, I think I can finally write the entry I wanted to write hours ago.

First I want to thank my regular readers for keeping up with my boring, ordinary life, haha. I know I’ve got a ton of comments and questions on past entries to get to. I’ll get to them as soon as I can.

“Looking good,” said a guy walking his dog that I ran by a couple days ago.

Really? ‘Cause my mirror didn’t say that when I walked by it a little while ago. That’s okay; I’m still feeling good. Just a slightly scratchy throat today and a peculiar cut on the tip of my index finger.

Last night I thought the anxiety was going to make its way back because I felt a bit on edge, but just as I was considering a lorazepam, it faded away. I’ve been fine so far today.

Just ordered our groceries online. Walmart really pissed me off at first. I was glad to see they finally made their site faster, but in doing so they deleted our favorites, including what I had in the cart. Or so I thought. I accidentally signed into the wrong account.

We’re having our final cold snap and what should be our last storm until the fall. By May the browning effect will have set in, and by June I’ll be living it up in the pool. Tonight, however, I got my run out of the way just in time. When I got back there was thunder, hail and wind. It rained super hard at one point.

AlbumDown is an awesome Chrome extension that lets me download copies of my pins on my Pinterest boards, no matter what size the board is. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if Pinterest disappeared or someone hacked my account, but I did put nearly two years of work into building up my little collection, so it’s nice to have a backup copy on my drive as well as on my Amazon drive. This operation took me about 10 hours to do yesterday. I didn’t even write a word except for a quick journal entry that I thought was too mundane and boring to bother to share. Tonight I’ve got to catch up, though.

Last night I dreamed I was walking along a deserted beach when I saw a cat run up and grab a rat and carry it into the ocean. I yelled at the cat in hopes of scaring it into letting the rat go, but it ignored me.

I ran into the water nearly up to my waist and splashed furiously at the cat. I then grabbed the rat and was surprised it was still alive, although it was terrified, in shock and very weak. I wasn’t sure if it had a chance of survival, but I was going to see what I could do.

The cat followed us out of the water and tried to jump up and grab the rat from my hands. This time I kicked the cat not hard enough to harm it, but hard enough to cause it to run off scared.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Cloudy, Dry & Warm

Weather’s gorgeous today, but tomorrow and the next day we’re going to get rained on. This should be the last of the rain. It’s unlikely, but still possible, to get rain in May. It almost never rains between June and August, so that’s when we’ll do the roof. Gotta cut way back on non-necessities and next year’s vacation may be off the table. We were going to go to either San Diego or Hawaii, but it’s still too far out to say for sure.

We’ll keep this refrigerator, but we still want the dryer that matches our front loader, and we could definitely stand to replace this old oven. We don’t want to borrow from the retirement fund to do it, though. Everything else has been as updated as far as we’re going to update things for the length of time we’ve got left here.

Although I’m starting to feel like I’m getting bloated and watery, I’m definitely going to be late if I get another period. 28 days from my last period would be the 12th and there’s no way I’m going to get a period then because I’m not PMSy enough now.

I wish I could know if I was done with periods and especially the anxiety. I think I would cry tears of relief if I suddenly knew I was, and then I would dry my eyes and be quick to celebrate. It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve seen S, and I’m still hoping I never see her again (other than occasional phone or digital communication), as much as we may miss each other at times.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Thanks, Oprah


Miss Sun Sensitive survived 15 minutes of walking and running in the warm sun, though I’d have been lost without my pink sparkly cap and transitioning lenses. Couldn’t have gone longer or in warmer temps either. Those damn landscaping sounds really ruin the peace, though. It was everywhere. This house, that house. This section of the park, that section of the park.

Still no anxiety, but sometimes I get fatigue. I remembered watching Oprah many years ago and her talking about how various foods affects us, and that cottage cheese wakes you right up. Realizing I had cottage cheese – those cottage cheese doubles with fruit you mix in – I got up and had one and it did seem to perk me up. So… thanks, Oprah. :-)

I made the mistake of getting bagels, though. Well, I wanted to try maple-flavored bagels, but the idiots mistakenly gave me birthday cake bagels. Birthday cake bagels, can you believe it? Are we really going to continue to complain about obesity in America? LOL, anyway, I never should’ve gotten bagels no matter what the flavor because they are serious weight gainers. Breads are worse than candy. Eat things like bread, bagels, cakes, pies, donuts and other pastries and you’ll probably be fat for life. Let’s just say that if you don’t gain weight from them, you definitely won’t lose. For me, 5 bagels later and I’m up 2 pounds.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Warnings in My Dreams?


Slept a little better last night but still not great. Even my dreams were less violent, but also not great. I guess I was homeless in one of them. I was eating dinner with a woman and her adult son who were on vacation. I don’t know where we were but before this, we were in a gift shop and I got a small doll for $8. When we were eating, I was assuring them that I still had money. The woman asked how, and I said from selling a car.

Then I was living with my parents in another dream. I seemed to be on the second floor of our first house (or at least the one I remember as being my first). Dad was on the phone at a table or small desk that was against the wall dividing the master bedroom and another bedroom.

I entered their room telling them that I thought I had a virus on my computer. My mother followed me back into the room opposite the staircase to check it out with me, as if she would know what to do being the stupid idiot that she mostly was, LOL.

I wonder why Andy's been popping up in so many dreams lately. Is something trying to warn me about him? I will always love him as much as I dislike him, but I haven’t changed my mind and I highly doubt I ever will as far as resuming our friendship. Dump me or cause me to dump you and that’s the way it stays. If I had to start all over again I never would’ve contacted him like I did in 2010, knowing all the grief he put me through. Forgiveness has almost always backfired on me, so once you’re out of my life, you stay out.

But this doesn’t mean I want anything bad to happen to him, and having two death dreams about him can’t be good. In last night’s dream, I was crying to Tom that Andy died and he wasn’t even 55 yet. Actually, I’m pretty sure he turned 55 in February. These dreams still can’t be a good sign. They don’t necessarily mean he’s going to die, but they’re likely a sign that something bad is going on right now with him or in his life.

In another dream, he came to visit. We were so happy to see each other and were hugging like crazy. I was in the bathroom when I heard him enter the house and he started chatting with Tom. Then after I went out and we hugged each other, I told him I was glad he showed up then and not at 7am, since I doubted I would be asleep before 3am.

Went to Goodwill this morning and found a nice Indian woman and baby figurine for $5. If it’s by Ashton-Drake or the Hamilton Company like I think it is, then it was a little expensive when new.

I’m doing something different this year with CampNaNo and working on three stories at once. I do a different one each day. I set my word count at the lowest allotted (10K), but I know I’m going to beat that easily.