Sunday, May 28, 2017

Lowe's, Sams, Michael's, Dollar Tree, Etc.

I got up earlier today because yesterday was such a fun and busy day that I fell asleep earlier than the night before, something I rarely do.

We wanted to go out browsing and shopping just for fun, but we also wanted not to have to listen to the thump of base from the damn concert. Remember, some of us move to these types of places to get away from that shit. Not to have to listen to it. But by the time we returned four hours later at the tail end of the concert, you could barely hear it, unlike the last time. It was still good to get out and do things we don’t normally do to break up our normal routine. No matter how comfortable you may be with your routine, variety is always good.

We went to Lowe’s first but didn’t get anything there. Then we went to Wendy’s where we both got junior bacon burgers with small fries and a small drink. With both of us watching what we eat, we were really stuffed afterward, not used to taking in 600 cals at once. There’s a reason I eat as much as I can a few days before vacations; to enlarge my stomach so I can enjoy indulging during the trip.

We parked towards the back of the parking lots furthest from the stores we visited so it would be easier to get out and because we like to walk. It was a beautiful day. Warm and dry. I even got a little color.

We first stopped in a department store we’d never been to before. It wasn’t all that great. Then we went to a thrift store we’d also never been to and that was more my style. For just seven bucks I got silver sequined UGG style boots.

Then we went to the Dollar Tree where I got these cute little plastic flowers in a tiny pot. When light hits the solar panel on it, the flowers “dance.”

We also got a few scented hand sanitizers, and these scented room deodorizers that are it in plastic jars, but we really don’t notice them unless we stick our noses right up to them.

We went to Michael’s craft store where I got 5 neon colored beaded bracelets for $.99 each.

Our last stop was at Sam’s where we got dishwasher and laundry pods, and a power scrubber for the old shower stalls.

For just $10, I got a pink tunic with sparkly gems on it.

The four 2 x 2 printed foam mats arrived yesterday and we love them so far. We have one in the second bathroom and three in the kitchen to see how well they hold up before we redo both sections of the floor. They’re very comfortable to walk on and they look great. The roof is still the #1 priority and that will get done in July or August.

So yesterday was lots of fun. It definitely made up for the horrible, horrible nightmare in which I required lorazepam to get back to sleep. In the dream, I was living with Tammy, although she had a multi-story house in the dream. In reality, Tom will be 60 in exactly one month, but in the dream, he died from a sudden and unexpected illness right before he was to turn 57. The depression I experienced in the dream was overwhelming. Tammy had to leave one morning, assuring me that everything would be okay and that she would be back at 11 PM or sooner. I didn’t want her to go, but I also didn’t want to cry on her shoulder all day either.

I spent the day reading and writing and trying to block Tom from my mind so as to keep from cracking up. Unable to work yet not having worked enough years to collect disability, I had no idea how I was going to survive since our savings and sale of the house would only last a year or two. Even if I had all the money in the world, I didn’t see how I could stand to wake up each day without him for the next 25-35 years. It’s so true that once you find your true soulmate you don’t want to live without them, and no wonder so many long-term couples die around the same time.

But then nighttime came and I couldn’t help but think of how we’d always assumed he would turn 57 and then 58 and so on and so forth. I looked to the doorway of the bedroom, which I stood in, wishing he would appear and say it was just a horrible joke and that we could now go home. I woke up as I burst into tears. Like I said, it was a horrible, horrible dream.

Taking it easier today doing things around the house. I doubt we’ll go out today, but who knows?

I’m trying to get used to progressive glasses once again because I really like having a pair of glasses that does it all. It was a pain in the ass switching back and forth between reading glasses and bifocals with no mid-range vision.

My right hip is better (for the most part), but today my left hip is sore when I first stand up. I’ve had pain nearly every day for a while now, but it sure beats anxiety.

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