Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Ear

Hey there. :-) I know I haven't been very consistent with my journaling lately, but I had some really rough days and I thought my entries would be too depressing and even worrisome for some people. The day before yesterday I woke up super dizzy and that was when we realized that I had wax in my ear. So we started treating that right away and the dizziness backed off, which I was grateful for. Still have some inward trembling - that "buzzing" sensation in my head - and lightheadedness at times, and of course the worst symptom of all... anxiety.

Because I skipped my thyroid meds for a total of three days, the anxiety has backed off little. It has been one of the most exhausting battles of my life and sometimes I worry it's a battle that's eventually going to break me and that I'm destined to lose, but I'm doing my best to hang in there. Definitely going to take Stacey's advice on the homeopathic doctor. I just hope it won't take too long to get in to see one.

Sometimes it's like being beaten with a bat relentlessly, hard enough to really knock the wind out of you but not quite hard enough to kill you. But then it gets so bad at times that you kind of wish it would if it won't just back off and give you your life back. I still keep hoping that someday I'll get back to my old self and it will be for more then just a few months, too.

Although tired because I was up 18 hours and only slept 5.5 hours, I feel a little more alive today. Enough to clean another section of the house and even do some Bowflex exercises.

Decided that writing a bio by pulling the highlights from my many years of journals is a bit more work than I'd like to do at the moment, so within the next few days or so I'll add a few more highlights and be done with it. Just the major events instead of things that don't really stand out in my memory.

Not much else going on. I'm just riding out my latest storm and glad that the weather is warming up again.

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