Thursday, June 1, 2017

My Favorite Month

It’s June! My favorite month. This month is our anniversary, his birthday, and the start of summer. June has always been my favorite month.

The clonidine has proven to be pretty worthless so far. I don’t think it helps me fall asleep faster. I don’t sleep as sound when I take it and I’m a little groggy the next day. If I get anxious again, it might be good for that, but I would rather not find out.

I had spotting last night after 2.5 months, so that sucks. I’m probably in for a full-blown period within a day or two.

I’m not working out as much these days. I’m just too tired too much of the time. I know I risk falling out of shape and gaining weight, but I just don’t have the energy anymore. I sleep too shitty too often.

Debating whether or not I want to finish combing through old journals and sharing the highlights. It’s just SOOO much work.

Having fun with my page, even though I don’t expect to ever have more than a few members. I’ve got posts queued up all the way through the middle of the month. I don’t have to do anything but sensor anything that comes in.

After Aly dumped me for being honest enough to warn her about Kim (among other things I was “too blunt” about), I was so hurt and angry that I hoped that Kim would turn around and dump her and give her a taste of her own medicine. Now that this has actually happened, I’m not sure how I feel. I will never understand why some people care about those that don’t care about them while they don’t give a damn about those that do care. What is it about some people that draws them to abusive lovers and toxic friends??? Especially when they should be smart enough to know better. I think they’ll patch things up soon enough, though, because they need each other to feed off of. Kim needs Aly to help her with the things she’s not smart enough to do on her own, and Aly needs Kim because she thrives on toxicity.

I only remember a few seconds from one dream last night. I don’t know whose baby it was, but I took some baby to the ER that was sick or something. The doctors and nurses examined it as I watched on fearfully. Only the baby wasn’t fat and chubby like a real baby. Instead it looked like a miniature adult that couldn’t have been more than a foot long, if even that.

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