Sunday, July 9, 2017

Searching

Still searching for my happy-medium when it comes to my meds. I don't want to take enough to make me anxious (especially while I'm still in peri), but I don't want to take too little and invite hypo symptoms back either. I'm still hoping I'll be more tolerant to it when I hit menopause, which of course still feels like it's never going to happen.

We went to the pool yesterday but the water was surprisingly cool because it was cool in the morning. Solar heating pools in this climate is all wrong. If they heated it properly we could use the pool longer. That's okay, though. Someday I'll be in Florida or Hawaii and I'll be able to swim year-round.

They still have multicolored markings along some of the roads here, as well as some little red flags, but haven't started digging for whatever it is they're going to dig for. I just hope they do it while I'm on days, but even if I am, there's always something going on here and I get tired of listening to it. I swear I will never again live surrounded by so many busy roads! We didn't have much time to look for a place, though, because the economy was starting to pick up again when we were house-hunting, which meant the prices were increasing. Hopefully we'll have time to do a better search of the next place, even though things do and can change, and I may be forever destined to listen to some shit no matter where I go. The place would actually be rather quiet if it wasn't for there being so many loud vehicles these days, and landscaping nearly every day. It's quiet at night. Just an occasional car stereo booming down the freeway. Kind of obsessed with the idea of a place that's right on the water after some pictures I've seen. If not the ocean then a lake would be nice, despite the bugs I suppose it'd bring and the risk of gators.

He's been doing a lot of coding because he got a really good idea for a money making app. It's for something that people have attempted to do, but have been unable to do so far, yet he has developed a way in which to do it. While I may be a bit of techie, it's still a bit high tech for me to describe, not that I should give that much information out anyway. The only problem is that it's something that could be copied very easily, so it's not like we could expect to make money off of just one app, if we're going to make money off of any. It's still something he enjoys doing and that's most important. I never expected to become rich from my writing. I do it because I like it. :-)

Every few months he gets a surprise electronics package as part of the subscription. He got some neat stuff yesterday that involves making a little music player. I've never been interested in this sort of thing but I can't help but accidentally learn some things through him, just like he's learned some Spanish, Italian and German words from me.

Being the third anniversary of the most terrifying day of my life, not surprisingly, I had a few nightmares last night. None of them actually dealt with any medication, though. The one where I had erratic bleeding I can probably thank my GYN for. I would still be willing to bet just about anything that I don't have uterine cancer, and therefore going through surgery would be a total waste of time and money.

In another dream I must've been living with an abusive guy and didn't seem to know Tom. Instead I was living in a small house or apartment which was very detailed in the dream. Living room and kitchen to the left, bathroom and bedroom to the right. Anyway, I'd never put up with such shit in real life, but I guess the guy was the jealous type and kind of scary too. We had an argument on the phone shortly before he was due to come home. I hung up and hurried to tidy up the place in a way he would approve of. It was late at night and I quickly dove into bed hoping to avoid a fight by not having to face him.

Then I was dusting a computer monitor. I would hit the 'page down' key then dust the monitor again. Then I realized it was silly to do that and that I didn't have to dust it every time I went down the page. LOL Finally I stopped dusting the monitor and walked around the corner of the L-shaped room I was in. There stood some cages with a variety of rodents.

In the last dream I might have cut my hair. I was talking to Stacey and I asked her what the longest her hair had ever been. She told me a few inches below her shoulders and for some reason I thought that was just hilarious as hell and burst out laughing. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me," I told her.

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